Hello beautiful people!
Welcome back to Mind Talks with Imma on EveryeveryNG!! T…T… TGIF!!! Thank God It’s Friday!
You guys, do you know I went to buy plantain and the plantain seller said one finger of plantain is N400. No jokes; roasted plantain. Then I had to ask the lady, ‘If I finish eating one plantain for N400, what now happens?’ Because I need to know if I would be satisfied for like the next 3 days.
That’s even on a lighter note.
On a more heartbreaking note; I learnt that yam is now being sold in pieces because people can’t afford to buy yam in tubers anymore. That’s a gory reality of the extent to which we’ve descended in this country; that people can’t afford access to the simplest amenities- health, basic infrastructure, education.
Now staple food is being difficult to come by too! In some families now, two square meals per day is a luxury; even one square meal… enough of that now though, let’s not bore down the sad lanes further.
What prompted the topic of today’s episode?
I’ve heard a lot of people in relationships say things like, ‘You know this is how I am, you have to take me the way I am’. I mean, are you not supposed to be growing? In my opinion, I feel that is not love; because when you love someone, you would want to improve yourself for them.
Not necessarily for them, but you want them to meet you at the best version of yourself. Nobody is perfect but the time you dedicate to self- improvement is your superpower hack.
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On today’s episode, we would be exploring a discussion on emotional intelligence in relationships. Emotional intelligence in relationships is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions in a positive way to relieve stress and communicate effectively.
It is the ability for you to empathize with others and today, we are focusing on the empathy your partner deserves in the relationship.
There are five steps to master emotional intelligence
One is self-awareness. When you are self-aware, you’re conscious of the impact of your actions on the emotional well-being of others. You know how to choose your vocabulary and words, and no matter how bad your mood is, you are totally in charge of your reaction and attitude.
Growing up, I had a really bad temper and after every episode of letting my anger control me, I regretted everything I said most times and wished I never got angry. Then one day I realized that people would always get on my nerves but the way I chose to react was what mattered. So gradually I taught myself exactly how I wanted to react whenever I became angry.
Note that this does not mean that I won’t react. The significant difference is that I would be in total control of how I reacted. Now gradually, I’ve learnt to extend this gesture to people around me, especially to the man I love. And this attitude is most important for you too with your partner because, getting mad and then blaming it on the way you are is not fair.
The second one is self-regulation. Now you are self-aware and you’ve laid out your principles, next is being conscious enough to regulate these principles. Here, you have to accept the changes you see; in relationships, you have to open up your mind. Leave room for growth. It’s not enough that you’re self-aware. You also need to regulate yourself or let a loved one help you.
Self-motivation: Being emotionally aware can be difficult at times. This is because just like one who goes to the gym if you lose your motivation and drive, you would most likely stop going. You need to motivate yourself daily- seeing reasons why you should be the best version of yourself to your partner.
Empathy is the one characteristic that is very important in emotional intelligence. You’ve probably have heard people say things like ‘you know I say things exactly the way they are’. This is how some of us have lost important friendships and relationships because, at a time when you really needed to be sensitive and filter your words, they opened their mouth wide and poured out everything tactlessly.
Fifth on this list is a social skill. Now that you’ve had empathy, you motivate yourself to be self-aware and regulate yourself; you also have to improve on your social skills; building healthy communication and making sure you are able to pass intended information across with intelligence and sensitivity.
Aaaand that is that for today’s episode.
Have you noticed that my episodes are no longer lengthy? That’s because I want you to enjoy it without taking so much of your time. I also want you to be able to personally share in my drifts too and relate to what I’m saying.
Yes, dearies remember to stay safe.
Remember, in a world where you can be anything, please be kind.