Egbon and Mazi

Pidgin News (118): Kaduna Will Castrate

Mazi, men don dey hear am for this country o

Egbon, wetin happen?

You never hear wetin El rufai dey do for kaduna? For kaduna now, if man rape woman dem go castrate am

Where the wahala come dey?

You no hear wetin I talk? dem go start to dey castrate …

I hear o. you wan go rape person for kaduna?

How you go ask me that kind question? I no wan rape anybody

So how that judgment take concine you? Yes, I agree with the thing wey dem dey do for kaduna; anybody wey wan go rape person pikin, make dem castrate am. Since e no wan get self-control… government go give am self control

Aaaah Mazi! Other types of punishment dey but to castrate a man now… e better make dem sentence a to death

So you wan tell me say e better make person die than for dem to castrate am?

Yes, e better.

Na wa o. people for this life different o. so as you dey now, e better make dem kill you than to castrate you

Yes! Mazi, e better. Wetin be the point of being alive if dem don castrate you… wetin be the point.

The point be say there are other things to do with other parts of your body like your brain.

Yes my brain dey there and I dey use am everyday…

You sure?

Wetin that wan come mean.

E no mean anything … go on.

Yes other parts of my body dey there but if I no get this main part… if dem castrate me and commot am…. E mean say I no be man again and if I no be man den wetin I be? Because I no be woman. You see my point?

I see am. Toh since you feel like this… no go rape anybody for kaduna state

How you go…

Na joke I dey joke, I know say you no be rapist. Change of topic, another building don collapse for lagos o

Mtshw, that wan no be news again now. E be like say na every other day building dey collapse for lagos

Honestly, if you wan enter any building for lagos now… na to enter by prayer

Serious prayer. Earthquake no dey but still yet buildings dey collapse left and right. Na big problem be this but e be like say lagos government no know yet.

Dem go soon know.

Ehen, SARS don release phone number wey you go phone to report any SARS member wey dey cause trouble for road o

Ehen? So I fit report any SARS member wey dey hold me for nothing?

Na wetin dem talk be that. If dem dey hold you for doing nothing or dem wan collect bribe… you fit call the numbers to report dem.

That’s good, make dem release the numbers well well now… make everybody see am. No be everybody dey read newspaper.

Dem need to advertise the numbers for television, yes.

Doctors don suspend their strike

If I hear say dem no suspend am…. Me I just know say as minister of health announce say make dem replace all the doctors wey dey on strike with NYSC doctors, strike don end be that.

I dey tell you. Some Nigerians no get sense, is this the best time to go on strike?

My brother and strike na the answer? No be strike everybody dey do for the past twenty something years and still nothing has changed. Strike is not the answer.

It is not but who go tell them?

Na another problem be that. Make I come dey go abeg.

Okay o. later.

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