Egbon and Mazi

Pidgin News (117): To Buy Or Not To Buy Fuel

Good morning, Mazi

Egbon, what is good about the morning… nothing dey good about the morning. You know how much I buy fuel this morning?

Mazi, you still dey on top this fuel matter? I know how much you buy fuel this morning because I know the price of fuel. See enh, make I tell you something… in a way this fuel subsidy wey dem commot na good thing.

Please tell me why as I buy fuel for one hundred and fifty five naira, e be good thing

Okay, see now… government don talk say fuel price go now be determined by demand and supply and dem no go control the price again

Abeg Egbon… you dey speak English. Talk to me in simple manner

Wait make I land first now. So now wey government no dey regulate price again. E mean say everybody wey dey sell fuel go set the price according to the price wey dem buy am…

I still dey wait for the good part

Na wa o. your patience don loss this morning. The good part be say fuel price fit reduce to the barest minimum; if something happen now and fuel dey everywhere, the price of fuel fit reduce well well and you fit even buy fuel for twenty naira per litre

So now, wetin be the thing wey go happen wey go make people buy fuel for twenty naira per litre?

I no know now… I dey just try tell you say the possibilities are endless

Mtshw… Egbon if no be say I be christian, na slap I for slap you this morning. Which kind nonsense be this? Person dey complain and you dey speak English about yeye possibilities… na possibilities I tell you say I dey find or that I wan buy fuel for good price. Mtshw… no make me vex this morning, in short I don even vex sef.

Calm down… calm down. Ahn ahn, how you go dey threaten me this morning, na encourage I be wan encourage so o

No encourage me… I no fit take your encouragement do anything; with you encouragement I still dey buy fuel for one hundred and fifty five naira… so please hold your encouragement I no want am

Okay o, sorry…. I no go encourage you again.

I no want.

Moving on… you hear say to treat one corona patient, e dey cost government four hundred thousand naira?

I no hear o, who talk am?

E be like say na El rufai talk am

Ehnn that wan no be issue now, dem get the money to do am… as dem dey tell us that wan now; wetin dem want make we do? Make I use okra soup take do skipping rope?

Ha ha, Mazi I know say the thing wey dey worry you different

Na true now, wetin dem want make we tell dem? Make we praise dem because dem take four hundred thousand naira take treat each corona patient? I fit bet you say for obodo oyinbo the money wey dem dey spend even big pass this four hundred thousand naira wey dem dey talk.

Yes, e fit big pass our own. Mazi this wan wey you don vex finish, I no think say I go fit discuss any news with you this morning; make I leave you dey go where I suppose go

That wan na you know… no be me dey drive you commot

No be you dey drive me commot but every visitor know when dem don over stay their welcome.

Na my house be this? Mtshw… you like English sha

Abeg bye bye… I no get energy.

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