I used to be one of those girls who never discussed much about their relationship with their friends; instead, I was the one who they all came to about their relationships. When I had that saga with Abdul, I didn’t discuss much of it with Lota and Ashezi; I only told them what they needed to know on a need to know basis. At least they had to tell them the reason for my depression at the time.
But right now, I have turned into a Derek/boyfriend obsessing chatterbox that won’t stop; even when I see that my friends are tired of hearing about him and the fact that he never wants to get married again.
“Why don’t you just break up with him?” Ashezi suggested, “is it that easy to break up?” I thought “I don’t know. I mean it’s not as if I haven’t thought about it but… I just don’t know” “I get it. You don’t want to be single again” Ashezi concluded and she was right.
There was a time that being single was something that I didn’t mind; I love being single… I love the freedom that comes with it and all but after being in a good relationship, a relationship without any major drama for the past seven months, I didn’t want to end it and become single again.
“You need to talk to him. You both need to have a long talk” Lota said for the umpteenth time. I knew that she was right but that was the last thing that I wanted to do. I didn’t want to talk with him because any talk we have was going to lead to a breakup; except he changes his mind about marriage or I did and I was never going to not get married in my life time because I want to be with him.
The day he told me that he never wanted to get married, I was so shocked that I didn’t say anything to him about it; I just said “okay” and asked that we continue with the movie that we were watching. He asked me if I was okay with what he had said but I just told him that we could discuss it another time.
I know that I should have told him right there and then that I wasn’t okay with it; I should have told him that marriage was one of my goals in life but I was so shocked at what he was saying that a part of me thought that he was messing with me and at the end of the night he was going to tell me that he was joking. But nothing of sort happened. He was as serious as a heart attack.
After that day, I didn’t say the words marriage, engagement, husband, wife or anything relating to marriage in any of our conversations. I just couldn’t, I couldn’t even discuss my friend’s wedding planning with him just because… you know. But after two weeks, I felt like it is time to have the conversation with him. I was certain that it was going to lead to a break up but I couldn’t keep deceiving myself and wasting my time; I just had to rip the band aid off as soon as possible.
We agreed to meet at Jabi Lake Mall at 7:00 pm; it was a beautiful night but I was sure that after meeting with Derek the beauty would turn to ashes. I was so nervous that I left my house thirty minutes early and got there fifteen minutes before seven.
It was a small restaurant directly in front of the lake; I figured I was going to sit and take in the beautiful sight of the lake before he came but to my surprise he was already waiting there for me.
“You are early” I said “so are you” he replied. Looking at him alone already broke my heart; I couldn’t wait, I couldn’t wait to order and have a pleasant conversation before discussing the main issue that brought us there and so I went straight to the point.
“I love you but I can’t be in a relationship that won’t lead to marriage. I want to have kids and I want to be married, to be a family. I am sorry” I could feel the tears welling up in me; so I got up walked as fast as I could towards the lake. I could hear him calling me but there was no way I was going to turn back with tears pouring down my face.
“Asari wait” he finally caught up to me. He had a huge smile on his face which was confusing “why are you smiling?” I asked “it’s a prank” he said “what do you mean?” I was really confused but he didn’t reply; instead he put his hand in his pocket, got on one knee and opened a small box that revealed the most beautiful ring that I have ever seen.
I was shocked beyond words… “I love so much. Will you marry me?” he asked. The tears from my eyes tripled… I couldn’t say anything. I was too shocked and happy at the same time; all I could do was nod aggressively.
He put the ring on my finger and kissed me. Aaaaah! I am engaged. I still can’t believe it, I still pinch myself every other hour just to make sure that this is not a dream. I can’t believe my luck. I have a wonderful relationship with an amazing man and I will do everything in my power to keep it that way.