I’m Asari (Episode 47): How I Fought For My Apology

One of the things I have been learning lately is that action speaks louder than words; yeah…yeah… we all hear that adage that says “action speaks louder than words” but it is one thing to hear it and it is an entirely different thing to know it and now, I know it for sure. Thank’s to the process of getting Lota to accept my apology.

You see, when Lota left my house, I apologized profusely and I was sure that she had accepted my apology and forgiven me until I asked her to hang out the next day and she declined. At first, I didn’t feel alarmed or anything; I just assumed that she was not in the mood to go anywhere but then again Ashezi mistakenly snitched on her by admitting to me that they went to see a movie that night.

“It wasn’t that serious and besides it was impromptu” Ashezi, at that point had seen the disappointment on my face. “Oh okay it’s fine” I replied and quickly changed the topic. Not to be too dramatic but I was scared that if I continued the conversation, I would have burst into tears. I know it was something small but it’s the small things that tell you the most about someone or a situation, right? I started suspecting that she hadn’t accepted my apology but I wasn’t sure just yet.

The next day, I decided that instead of inviting Lota to come out with me, I was going to invite myself to her house and see what she says; I did and she told me to come over. That dispelled my suspicion until thirty minutes to the time I told her I was coming over “please accept my apology… I just realized that I promised to help my boss with something” she explained over the phone.

I was tempted to call her lie and confront her about avoiding me, but I have learnt my lesson from our previous scuffle. If I confronted her, it would have gone two ways; either she confesses to me that my apology meant nothing to her or it turns out that the thing with her boss was not a lie and that would have made things worse. “Okay no problem” I replied and ended the call.

I needed a plan and fast because I figured that if this continued for more than a certain amount of time; Lota would keep her distance from me and before you know it, we would go from very good friends to acquaintances. The thought of being Lota’s acquaintance make my heart skip a beat.

The next morning, I went to her house; I got there at approximately 6:00 am… that’s to show you how early I woke up. They say desperate times call for desperate measures and that was exactly what I was doing… something desperate. I needed this girl to tell me that she had accepted my apology and truly mean it.

Heart breaks are hard as hell and your friends are supposed to make it easy for you to navigate; I did the opposite for Lota and I feel very guilty about it. Now back to my unannounced early morning visit. I knocked on her door and she was already awake… thanks to her heartbreak.

“Asari, what are you doing here so early?” she had a grim look on her face so I couldn’t tell if she was unhappy to see me. “I came to make you breakfast” I replied letting myself in, since I was running the risk of her shutting the door in my face.

I went to her kitchen and I made breakfast, pancakes, scrambled eggs and sausages; it was delicious. From eating breakfast to gisting about everything under the sun and drinking wine to ordering in; it was a very nice Saturday and I could tell that she was grateful for my presence. “Thank you very much for coming, I may have not admitted it but I needed the company” she said.

Her words made me finally believe that she had finally accepted my apology; see why I said actions speak louder than words. I kept using my mouth to give her my apology and no matter how much I apologized to her, it didn’t mean much. But when I took action and showed her how sorry I was, she finally accepted it and all was well with our friendship again.

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