Egbon and Mazi

Ẹ̀gbọ́n Jimọh and Mazi Okoroafor (Episode 11): Colossal Exposure, Dual Citizenship, and a Series of Undesirable News

Ah. Mazi. Long time no see. You been travel?

Hehe. Egbon, no be summer we dey so? I go summer break naa.

Hahaha. Summer break ke? Naija don turn oyibo land? All this August rain no reach your side?

Maka Chukwu, Egbon, the thing worse for my village. You know, I escorted my wife home for August meeting.

Ahen! Na now you talk true. Welcome wey bread? Wetin Your village people sabi do well sef? Abacha abi na Okpa?

Go ask Mama Ada that one. Me I just enjoy fresh pammy that’s all.

Hope say you attend village meeting? What are you people planning to do about your brothers and sons disgracing Nigeria internationally?

Bia, Egbon, I bido go, you don start. Are we not all Nigerians in this mess? Moreover, every tribe dey do Yahoo Yahoo for this country, starting from our politicians.

Err, but Igbo people plenty pass. You no see the list? Very shameful thing, Mazi. You recognize any name there?

Yes, I hear your brother name for the list.

Haaa! I no get Igbo brother ni o.

You sure? Who else dey answer Olanike Olaniyi? Hahahaha.

You have started that your name joke again shebi? What else has been happening in the country?

Yahoo Yahoo is going on all over the country.

Beside your brothers?

Look at you. This one involves your own brothers too.

Ehen? Is it Ambode and the EFCC? Forget that one, It’s Tinubu punishing him for disloyalty. Can’t you see that even Lagos State House of Assembly filled with his partymen is probing him?

Not even that one sef.

Which one again?

OBJ and his Otta Farms are tax defaulters. Even this musician, Adeleke’s son errm…


Yes Yes, Davido. FIRS released the list of names of all of them. Na your people full am.

Na wa o. And wetin happen to Siasia?

Chai. That one. He was banned by FIFA. Them catch am dey collect bribe to fix match.

Aye mi o! We don dabaru finish. See our yansh on international stage o! This is a terrible thing Mazi.

To the extent that 4,000 Nigerian refugees in Cameroon refused to return to the country.

Hahaha. Cameroon nkịtị!

Is it not how four policemen were arrested in Lagos for shooting unarmed innocent citizens?

And their stray bullets are busy killing people.

Did you hear this one about some of our leaders having dual citizenship?


Yes o. Including our Senate president Lawal and Speaker, Gbajabiamila.

So our leaders now are not even completely Nigerians? What a shame.

Shebi US Embassy recently increased visa fees for Nigerians?

They said it’s because Nigerian Embassy charges US citizens too much for visas.

Na wa.

But I think it will be resolved soon because government has reacted.

Okay o.

And what is this thing I heard about a Reverend Father being burnt alive in his car?

Or the one in an Abuja house where ICPC found fourteen females in captivity. Or the one where lawyers sold their clients property in Lagos?

All this for inside our country. No good news at all ni?

Hmmm. Not much o. Flying Eagles beat Mali to qualify for finals.

Oh. Great. What about the 12th African Games currently going on?

Nigeria dey try, we dey do well so far.

Finally, something wey no be bad news. We need hope small abeg.

True talk, Egbon. Make I come dey waka. We go see again abi?

Na you go tell me. Summer don end? Hehe. Hahaha. Funny man! Greet your family for me.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. New episodes of this column will be released every Saturday on this blog. Now, kindly share with your friends, family, and colleagues.

To read last week’s episode, click here

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