Ẹ̀gbọ́n Jimọh & Mazi Okoroafor (Episode 10): Indian Drama, Hunted Ghost Workers, and a Praying Old Soldier

Egbon my good friend, how body na?

Ah! We thank God ni o. This week plenty things don happen, Mazi.

Na so o. You hear about wetin happen between Federal  government and the Shiite leader for India okwaya?

El-Zakzakky shebi?  I hear say he refuse to receive treatment. What happened?

He rejected treatment after choosing a hospital in India as his preferred treatment destination. He got there and started acting up. NIA and DSS were watching over him as the court directed.

Na wa. I heard they even prevented him from meeting with the Iranian envoy that came to see him.

Yes o. He has now confirmed the rumours that his organization has a link with Iran, and the international community is no longer on his side. That is how he returned to Nigeria, no treatment no nothing.

He will have to face his trial in court squarely now. For once, FG has made us proud. The next person to deal with is your brother Nnamdi Kanu. Why did IPOB attack Ekweremadu in Germany?

Because they believe that South East leaders have secretly donated lands for RUGA. They were even causing trouble in Ebonyi. The governor ordered their arrest.

Who gave them that idea again?

Who again? Nnamdi Kanu, of course.

The same one that has been meeting with Asari Dokubo? I even heard Asari’s people are not happy with his involvement with the IPOB leader.

Plenty things dey happen for this country this week o.

Ehen, speaking of RUGA, Borno governor donated Sambisa forest to RUGA.

Hahaha. Sambisa? Na wa o. Is this a joke?

It is not a joke o. it will be like action film when herdsmen meet Boko Haram.

Well, at least my own governor is trying to do something in the state now.

Who? Ihedioha?

Yes.

What did he do?

He is trying to fish out and remove ghost workers from Imo civil service. Good news at last!

Ahh. Okay. I heard that it was because Rochas Okorocha advised him to emulate my able governor, Seyi Makinde! Hehehe.

You and Rochas are not well. Nonsense.

Mazi 1 of the entire Igboland!

I am a titled man in my village. If you call my title well, I might just kill a cow for you. That reminds me, how was Sallah? How many rams did you kill?

Ileya was very merry my friend. You and Mama Ada didn’t come as you promised. We had food and meat berekete. We were even looking for bail out.

Hahaha. Forgive us. Our little son got sick but he’s okay now. What do you think about this recent news on bailing out our power sector?

Mazi, the thing never tire you? From NEPA to PHCN to DISCOS. Nothing ever really changed.

Egbon ehnn. This one no be chere ka m bia matter. They are saying they lost their investment and need the federal government to step in and help.

But I heard senate is not in support of the bail out. Me I don’t understand again. We keep privatizing and governmentizing the power sector back and forth while everything remains the same.

It is unfortunate. Nigeria is just, how did that musician say it again?

Eedris Abdulkareem? Nigeria jagajaga, everything scatter scatter. Do you know Eedris grew up opposite our house in Lagos? Good old days.

Jimoh don start again. You hear about the 15 year old boy wey organize him own kidnap for Jos?

Fifteen years old? Aye mi o. Olorun maje o.

That is why we need to join Baba OBJ and his 2,000 gospel musicians to pray for Nigeria. We need plenty prayers. Our dear praying old soldier. Hehe.

We need more than just prayers, Mazi. Anyway, before I kill Ali Baba, did you hear that our Golden Eaglets are already getting prepared for Brazil.

Yes o. Finally, there’s something to look forward to. Not every time Big Brother Naija.

I hope they don’t disappoint us o. Take care, my good friend.

You too, Egbon.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. New episodes of this column will be released every Saturday on this blog. Now, kindly share with your friends, family, and colleagues.

To read last week’s episode, click here