Egbon and Mazi

Pidgin News (94): Sanitize Your Conscience Before Selling Hand Sanitizer

Mazi oooo

Ebgon, wetin happen? Person die?

Aaaah, person no die but with the concern wey I get right now enh; person go soon die. Government don talk say sixty-three percent of all the hand sanitizer wey dey this country na fake

Ahn Ahn, who talk that wan?

You no dey hear well o. na government talk am… Mazi, I don dey fear; how person wan take know whether the hand sanitizer wey dem get dey original?

I no tell you make you come buy hand sanitizer for my shop but you prefer those your two two naira hand sanitizers wey even ogogoro better pass

No be like that Mazi, the hand sanitizer wey I dey keep for parlour, that big type; na your shop I send my pikin to go buy am and because she no dey hear word, she come go her own friend shop go buy the hand sanitizer and now wey I dey smell am enh…. E be like say e dey smell like pomade

Make I just tell you now… e better to just wash your hands with soap and water than to dey use fake hand sanitizer; fake hand sanitizer fit bring another sickness for you. Better tell your pikin make e come collect original hand sanitizer from my shop today.

This wan wey you dey talk now, how I go know say your own hand sanitizer na the real thing?

Which kind question be that? I don sell any fake thing for you before or I don ever sell anything for you wey no do the thing wey I tell you say e go do?


Ehen, Egbon.. you fit insult my personality but I take god beg you, no insult my integrity and my business; I don dey do this business for over twenty five years and I get many loyal customers

Abeg no vex, na innocent question… you never sell any fake thing to me before

And even if I wan sell fake thing, you thing say na fake hand sanitizer I go sell? Because I no get conscience? People dey die because of this thing o… no be joke

Aaaah, e don do now… I know say the hand sanitizer wey you dey sell no be fake wan. Na fear make ask that question… abeg no vex

Okay o. I don hear. Send your pikin to come my shop this afternoon for the hand sanitizer.

Okay no problem. Aaaah, court don order EFCC to give Saraki all the property wey dem seize from am o

No be lie. In short enh, them suppose give am all en properties plus jara

Abi now?

Yes. Because dem dey seize people property and money in the name of corruption; meanwhile all those things dey go their pocket… if I be Saraki enh EFCC go add jara to the properties wey dem sieze

What about the wan wey dem even demolish that time?

Dem demolish any of Saraki property?

Yes now, you don forget… but e be like say EFCC deny say e be them order the demolition

If na dem demolish am, make dem build am back… dem dey mad. Fight against corruption my foot

Dirty fight against corruption. Na because we Nigerians no dey take somethings personal if not enh, for another country; dem for don injure this Ibrahim Magu since

En deserve injury, at least small injury for deceiving the nation

Na serious national deceiving wey en do but my fear be say… after all these drama now, everything go die down and dem go allow Magu go free

That your fear na good fear because na so dem dey do most times… na only if other countries enter the matter before the person dey go jail.

Make we dey watch dey go.

I real watching o because we no fit do anything.

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