Egbon and Mazi

Pidgin News (54): Amala Does not Cure Corona Virus

Hello… Egbon, how far now? You know say amala no be cure for Corona virus?

Ahn ahn Mazi, e get anytime wey I  talk say I wan use amala end corona virus?

Nna enh, I just dey find your trouble o but you no hear say people for Kwara state dey chop amala anyhow because dem think say e dey cure corona virus.

Na wa o. who tell dem that kind nonsense? Amala of all things… nothing wey person no go hear for this country

I dey tell you. Na em make kwara state government to announce officially say amala no dey cure corona virus. The thing just dey burst my head since morning. Imagine say amala dey cure corona virus; the kind thing wey for happen for this country ehn

Amala go cost past oil and gas. Amala go turn to gold and na us go benefit pass any country for this world.  Ehen, NCDC done officially talk say whether you get symptoms of corona or not e good make you wear face mask if you dey commot house

I talk am. How you go dey waka up and down and no mask? What if person cough for your face? And that time NCDC dey talk say e no compulsory. Wetin make dem change their mind now sef?

If you ask me, who I go ask? You know how these kind situation dey be sometimes. Na trial and error dem dey do most times.

Nna enh, e be like say I go go commot all the money wey dey my account leave only five thousand naira there o

Mazi, you don come again with your money wahala. Why you wan commot all the money wey dey your account?

You never hear?! You never hear wetin minister of human things talk?

No be minister of human things na minister of humanitarian affairs oo

Wetin be the difference? Ehen, she talk say na only people wey get five thousand naira or lower for their bank account or people wey dey buy only 100 naira credit for phone go get the money wey government wan share to people.

Enh, enh, enh, e be like say I dey that category o

Mtshwww, I dey talk something and you dey speak English.

See Mazi, God don catch you. You see all the times wey you dey yab me because na only hundred naira credit I dey buy; na like this God go honour me

Ha ha. Abeg no make me laugh before the food wey I dey chop go enter my head. You think say na people like you government wan give money? You wey get money to buy hundred thousand naira credit but because of your akagum; you know fit buy yourself better credit to call person.

Leave than wan. Dem no talk whether you get money to buy credit or not; no be hundred naira credit dem talk? just dey watch buy the time I receive alert na you I go first call. Kai! I no know say na like this my God go take honour me.

Mtshwww, ehen. You hear of that billionaire for bayelsa wey die because en go meet doctor to commot en belle?

I no understand, commot en belle? En get belle?

En get belle but no be belle like say e get pikin for belle. En just get big belle and en meet wan doctor for lagos to commot en belle. Na so en die

Na wa o. na crime for man to get big belle for this country again; anyway na rich man, en no get any wahala for this life.

En belle na en only wahala and na the belle kill am

Honestely, abeg make I go chop amala. The way you call me dey talk about amala don dey make me wan chop am

Okay o. bye bye. Remember me for your chopping.

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