I’m Asari (Episode 18): To Party or To Be Jealous

This weekend was… I’m thinking of the word to use. Okay, it was one of the worst weekends of my life. The week started so well. First of all, the doctor cleared me to stop using clutches which was absolutely amazing. Now I can move around freely, I can’t wear high heels or covered shoes just yet but I am so happy to be free. The rest of the week was me going around town, I went to see a movie alone; something I had never done before. It was refreshing and I would recommend it to anyone. I unexpectedly found myself being jealous of the happy couples who came to see a movie as well. So, next time I will go when very few people are in the cinema.

Friday arrived and I wanted to celebrate my new found freedom with my friends so we went out on Friday night. After a very long hour of debating the place we should go to, we finally decided to go to Silk Road; I have not been to that place since Max and I were there and for some unknown reason I suddenly became eager to go. We got our ‘freakum’ dress on, like Beyonce would say and just as I was about to enter the car I received an email from the people I went to audition for in Lagos; I didn’t get the job. Depression number one.

When we got there, the place was full; Silk Road is a restaurant/lounge but on Fridays it turns into a mini club which make it more exciting because it is not as rowdy as a club but it has the vibe of one.  Ashezi went to secure seats for us while Lota and I went to the bar to get drinks “two scotch on the rocks and one long island ice tea” I ordered. As I sat there waiting, I noticed a guy holding a glass with a blue drink inside; wondering what kind of drink it was, my attention went from the drink to the face of the person holding the drink. Lo and behold it was Ngozi’s ex-boyfriend, half of the couple I encountered when I was in Lagos.

I did as if I did not see him, took our drinks and went to join my friends; we drank and danced all night. Ashezi was so hyper; she is fun to hang out with on a normal day but now she is even more fun be around, that conservative side of her doesn’t come out as often anymore. I guess the break up is doing her well. Anyways, the night was going okay as I did everything in my power not to think about the bad news that I received earlier; I quickly decided that achieving a dream brings a lot of hurdles along the way and this was one of them.

“Do you know that guy?” Lota asked out of the blue “who?” I asked, she pointed and I turned around. It was the same guy from the bar; he walked up and said “homewrecker” with a smile on his face “jealous boyfriend” I countered. I shook him then he pulled me in for a hug. I was confused. Was this the same guy who would have slapped me if he had the chance? The same guy who accused me of breaking his relationship was all pleasant and friendly like we were old friends.

“What are you doing in Abuja?” he asked and I told him that I live here, I asked him the same question then he told me that he just moved to Abuja because of a new job. I congratulated him and attempted to end the conversation but he stopped me, inviting my friends and me to his table “no thank you, today is girls’ night out” I replied politely. I really wanted to ask him about Ngozi but I restrained myself, it wasn’t really my business; it wasn’t supposed to be my business.

In the light of trying to get back to partying with my friends, I gave him my number so that he would go away and thank god he did; it was starting to get awkward because I wasn’t comfortable talking to him with such friendliness. The night ended at midnight and Mr. Ngozi’s ex-boyfriend insisted on taking us home and we let him.

“Thank you very much” I said when we arrived, Lota and Ashezi were out of the car before me and just as I was about to step out, he held my hand and whispered in my ear “it’s Bolanle” “I know, you told me earlier” I replied holding the door open. “I thought you may have forgotten with all the drinking and all” he joked “good night” I said with a chuckle and hurried away before he tried to start another conversation. Bolanle appeared to be nice and friendly but aren’t all men like that when they want something from you? The question now is what does he want? I know Ngozi and what she is like when she is feeling jealous, so I know that whatever he wants it’s not me who will give it to him

The day of Abdul’s father’s end of the year party arrived and I was there; I was so glad that he invited Lota and Ashezi. Well, Ashezi had a family engagement so it was only Lota and me. The party was very good oo, the party was wonderful; the music was awesome, the food and drinks where superb and the place was field with impressive guests but guess what. The whole party sucked, I was miserable the whole time and wanted to leave but I couldn’t because Lota was having a nice time and it would have been selfish of me to just leave. Why was I miserable? I’ll tell you

I was miserable because Abdul was prancing around with his girlfriend; he wouldn’t leave her side and neither could she leave his. I was finally forced to talk to her and found out that she is a very lovely girl, which annoyed me the more. My goodness, I WAS JEALOUS… I have never been this jealous of someone because of man like this in my life. I was swelling with jealousy; any more than that I would have started flying like a hot air balloon. I wanted to talk to him about the ‘I love you’ he said to me at my house but I didn’t get a chance to plus there was no need because from what I saw. Deep down I could tell that he loves her. I can’t believe that I was jealous like that.

I know … I know, Abdul and I are only friends but… I mean… I don’t even understand myself anymore. What does being jealous even mean? Is this how I will always feel when I am around both of them? If it is then I guess I have to cut him out of my life, the friendship won’t work. Look at me at one of the most glamorous parties of the year and I could not enjoy it because I was watching the man I love with another woman. A woman I now know that he loves. Depression number two.

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