Hello beautiful people!
Welcome back to MindTalks with Imma on everyeveryng.
T…T…T…TGIF!!! Thank God It’s Friday! Love day today!
Eid Mubarak to my Muslim brothers and sisters. I hope you had a joyful celebration? And by the way, my fellow non-Muslims, hope you got meat? ‘Cos, this is the big Sallah. They always tell us this is not the big Sallah; this is the small Sallah. But this one is the big Sallah, so hold them and get your meat.
In today’s episode, it’s going to be about answers from a poll I took. Some time ago, I put up a poll asking people’s opinions on women proposing to men. And I got a lot of hilarious answers. Some were eye-opening answers, some were like dropping hints or, you know, saying what to do, but they were also lovely. It was like a survey, and the results were awe-inspiring. I would say I was a bit fascinated; it wasn’t what I was expecting.
So getting right into it, the replies would bear just the first letter of names and titles attached- Mr., Mrs., or Miss because of emphasising from the point of view from which the reply is coming.
I got 15 votes; 7 people said “no”, that they have no business supporting women proposing to men. Three people gave a solid “yes, I don’t mind”, three men actually; yes, let her propose to me, I don’t mind; it’s going to make me love her more, or it’s going to make me take her more seriously. And five people said, “well, yeah maybe, they could try; or when they are proposed to, they won’t feel shy, or they could try proposing to a man”.
Here are some of the replies that had full explanations:
Miss B said, ‘I really don’t like this. The man may not be responsible for anything that happens in the marriage; he might not just be ready. It can create laxity on his own part such that he wouldn’t see the marriage as important. And most likely, he’s going to say no if he wants to be responsible for anything that happens or if he’s not interested in marrying me, but that’s painful.
Instead of proposing to him, I would prefer we have a conversation about us and where we are headed and then hear him and talk as well, then watch how he’s going to act.’ Well, yeah, that’s true. I agree with her though not entirely because no standard says he would say no.
Mr B said, ‘I really don’t mind as long as I like the girl. Let her get it on.
Mrs M said, ‘LOL. I have one message for them; they are spoiling business for single ladies, ladies who know their worth’.
Umm… I don’t quite understand that. Does it mean that women who are proposing to men don’t know their worth?
Mr A said, ‘Please, I need a woman to propose marriage to me. It’s cool. Any woman willing to do that shows commitment on her side, and marriage needs commitment from both parties. Of course, for the lady to come and propose means, we’re both dating and not catching cruise and that we’re serious with each other.
And if she comes up with the proposal first, then that’s beautiful, that shows we’re both on the same page, and I’m suffering for nothing’.
Okay, that is from the male point of view.
Miss O said, ‘As for me and my household, I’m not proposing to anybody. I can give him hints of what I want but not outrightly propose.’
Mr T said, ‘I don’t think I would like my lady to propose to me. I would like to propose to her myself. She’s a queen, and she deserves the royal treatment.’
Miss B said, ‘I think I can do it, as long as I’m sure he’s the one for me, I’ll go ahead and ask. Life is too short to waste precious moments.’
Well, yeah. I think so too. I believe life’s too short to waste precious moments.
We’re advancing now; things are changing, and instead of waiting around trying to drop heavy hints, ‘cos dropping marriage proposal hint is heavy.
If you’re not having that discussion verbally and saying it the way it is or going ahead to ask him, then you’re going to be dropping hints, and these hints are like very heavy ones: trying to check out rings on shopping sites. Will he even know? So, I think times are changing now.
And from what I’ve read and from reactions we’ve seen online of how men react to women proposing to them, I think it’s cool with most men as long as they’re OK with the woman, as long it’s someone they want to be with or someone they love. They are not even going to mind. Some men don’t mind. They too want to be pampered and hear the “will you marry me” and all the mushy things said during proposals. So yeah, I think that you can propose to your man.
Personally, I’m not sure I can do the actual proposing, but I can have that kind of discussion that outrightly talks about where are we headed. But I don’t think it’s a bad idea or makes one look cheap or loose being the one to do the proposal ‘cos at some point you would have to clear up things and if you know, he’s the one for you, go for it.
Some might say they feel the man is too shy or constantly procrastinating or he’s always busy, but then, it’s a discussion worth having, and it’s either you have it as a proper discussion, or you get right into it ask him.
I had a reply from another Mrs M who shared a story she hadn’t shared with anybody before. That she was the one to propose to her husband, not with a ring, but she was the one to ask first, “will you marry me, will you want us to spend the rest of our lives together?” And he said “yes”, and he was very happy. It seemed as if she helped her husband talk the talk because of the way he reacted. He was so pleased, and then he went ahead to buy the ring.
Sometimes, some men need a little push or nudge to wake them up or point them in the direction you want them to see. Like yeah, this is what I want.
Do you still have any opinions about women proposing to men? Do you think it’s something you can do? Do you think it’s something you can accept as a guy for your lady to propose to you? Let me know in the comment section.
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Remember in the world where you can be anything; please be kind.