Ẹ̀gbọ́n Jimọh & Mazi Okoroafor (Episode 9): Collaborative Chaos, Kangaroo Court, and Sculpted Legacies

My brother from another kindred. Kee kwanu?

The only Igbo man with a Yoruba brother. We just dey push am small small the Naija style. Bawoni?

Egbon, the truth be say I no see Baw talk less of oni. Hahaha.

Hahaha. See this man o. Na my language you dey murder like this?

Haaa. Murder kwa? Na Nigerian Police and Army sabi do that one these days o.

Ehen, Mazi, you know the full story? I never still understand that thing.

Hmm. Let me kuku tell you what I know.

Abeg tell me.

So soldiers and police had a collision some days ago and things escalated.

Haa. Mazi you and English dey fight today o. Collision! Escalated!

Haha. So the soldiers killed 3 Policemen and in the process a kidnapper that was arrested escaped.

Ahhh. That’s serious o. But why are they treating each other like enemies when they should be working together? Is it not the same Nigeria they are supposed to protect?

Yet they are busy collaborating to create chaos! You will think that is all everything ended.

What happened again?

My son told me Nigerian Army and Police were exchanging words on the internet, insulting and accusing each other.

And what has government done?

The usual thing naa. Open inquiry. That’s all.

I’m sure another committee will be created to supervise the inquiry. Nigeria keeps disgracing us.

And that’s why the Congolese think they can attack our diplomatic residence in their country and nothing will happen.

Other countries nko? Treating Nigerians anyhow. Including South Africa and Ghana.


What does one expect sef? This one they are arresting people who protest against them and tagging them terrorists.

Sowore abi?

Yes o. DSS arrested him in the night and they even arrested another journalist who spoke up against the arrest.

Na wa. I heard court has approved his detention for 45 days.

Kangaroo court ni o!

And what is this thing about IBB complaining abi lamenting that Nigeria is very difficult?

Leave that man o. Is it difficult for him too? Has he forgotten that he contributed to our situation when he was busy SAPping this country?

And refused to declare Abiola President after the elections in 93. Just negodu! He is there talking as if it really affecting him.

At least my able governor has reduced the burden for me.

How so?

You know Akin just entered Law school. Seyi Makinde approved 500 thousand naira bursary for every Oyo indigene in Nigerian Law school.

Chai. See governor o. Meanwhile Okorocha is still busy complaining that Ihedioha is destroying his legacy in Imo state?

Which legacy again? Statues? Hahaha.

Egbon, I don’t just know for that man. Everyday he is in the news saying one stupid thing after the other. Now it’s his sculpted legacies we’re talking about. God help us.

Ehen, is it in your state that Okija shrine is?

No, that’s Anambra. Why?

Hehehe. I heard that they don’t have worshipers or visitor there again because of bad road ni o! Hahaha.

Where did you hear this one again?

In the news noni. Your people are funny o. In Yorubaland when has bad road ever stopped us from visiting our shrine? Ifa has plenty visitors every time. Even Osun river. If it is river or mountain or evil forest, we will pass it all. Bad road ke.

Err…we we have converted to Christianity, that’s why. C

And we have not? Hahaha. Funny man.

Na you know o. Bịa which one are you sef? Christian, Muslim, or Otumokpo people? Sallah is this weekend, I want chop ram biko.

See your mouth like ram. Ileya preparations is going fine, if that’s what you’re asking. Hehe. Anyway, let me come and be going before Iyawo mi will get angry. Greet mama Ada for me.

Nsogbu adịghị, she go hear. Greet your own people. We go visit una for Ileya. Ka ọ dị.

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To read last week’s episode, click here