Egbon Jimoh & Mazi Okoroafor: (Ep 12) The News & Vexation

Mazi, are you frowning at the newspaper or the news?

Egbon, did you hear the news that your president is getting married? So, all our issues in this country don’t concern him. His problem is to toast woman. At what age?

Is there an age that cannot look at a woman? But the news na lie sha.

Which lie? No be news wey dey everywhere?

E dey everywhere but there is no proof now. Mazi, why do you like believing everything you read? Until I see proof with my korokoro eyes before I believe.

So, you are one of those that don’t want to believe that film that exposed all those teachers that are sleeping with their students to pass them. You are still waiting for proof.

I’m glad you said film. You know whether dem put film trick join am?

Film trick? Egbon, I am disappointed that you are saying this. Highly disappointed

No. I didn’t say that they are lying but let’s not rush to believe things without proper investigation and consideration. Na so civil war dey start

E be like say you don learn new English and you dey find how you go take use am. Even the English wey you dey speak, where is the proof that you are speaking the right thing?

I don’t understand

Read also: Egbon Jimoh and Mazi Okoroafor (Ep 11)

White man came and told you that this and this is correct but where is the proof that it is correct? As we dey speak pidgin English, police don arrest us? Na Chinese people I like pass, because dem no dey quick learn English. Anything wey oyinbo tell you is correct. Where the proof wey talk sey this English wey we dey talk na de correct one? You dey find proof. Go and find the proof in the jungle now

Ahn Ahn. Abeg no vex for me oh. No be me dey marry. Na Buhari. Go face am

Na all of una I go face.

If na like that, I don go be that. I go see you tomorrow when you don cool temper.

Bia bia bia. Where are you going? You too dey vex. Come and see Goodluck Ebele Jonathan’s picture with Buhari, he was at Aso Rock

Ahn Ahn. See as he is fresh. The stress of being a president has left him

Being a president is not stressful, if not Buhari will not be getting married

Are we on this again?

Okay. Make we forget that gist. You see that the Nigerian Theatre Commander said that they are unable to defeat Boko Haram because they don’t have helicopters

I don’t understand. What kind of talk is that? Have helicopters finished in the market? If they don’t have helicopters, can’t they go and buy from the market?

Egbon, if you ask me, who will I ask? A whole Nigerian Military don’t have one helicopter, isn’t that a sad thing to admit. Shame no even catch the person wey talk am

Toh, It’s what his ogas at the top tell him to tell the press that he will say. See advert for Miss Nigeria, won’t you ask your Ada to apply?

If I catch her leg near that place

The winning prize is three million naira

Eh! Three what? I’m coming

Mazi, where are you going to?

I’m coming…