Integrity is a positive virtue of honesty, soundness, adherence to humane and acting on the fundamental moral principles of right conduct rather than on enactment. Integrity derived its root from the Latin word which means “intact”. A man with integrity is simply a man with a moral compass that doesn’t waver.
The individual qualities of fairness, honesty, a show of consistency and adherence to the right morals are what every man, both married and unmarried, should aim to achieve. But the question that keeps coming up is how many married men possess these attributes? I will be sharing with you in this article some basic signs that connote a lack of integrity in a married man.
Six (6) signs to show a lack of integrity in a married man
Cheating is one of the serious acts that married men engage in which is totally not in adherence to morals and ethical principles. Those who have been caught in the web of this act, definitely know better now.
Cheating is an act that has the power to totally destroy a man’s prospect and home as well. Most women are embodiments of potent spirits and filled which devilish intentions, hence will stop at nothing in their quest to disrupt a happy marriage or home. A man of integrity should always be unimpaired, principled and sound in moral character, so as to overcome the temptation of cheating and infidelity.
Failing to plan for the future
Not planning for the future is a sign of a lack of integrity. No man expects to attain success in marriage without planning. It’s said that “he that fails to plan, plans to fail”. Most married men don’t plan. A married man should not fail to have an action-based plan for his family on his vision for too long, no matter how unclear it seems to be at the beginning. Acquiring a good vision entails one to be well informed, and one way that guarantees a necessary knowledge for an effective and efficient plan is through formal education.
Basic formal education, to me, still remains an indispensable tool for enduring greatness and achieving excellence in marriage or family. Another important way of drafting a formidable plan is by turning to God, our creator. Just like they say, “there’s no enduring success without God” and “any plan or vision that is not endorsed by God can never succeed”. So, a man who fails to plan for his future and that of his family is without doubt lacking integrity.
Being a control freak
Becoming a control-freak-father is definitely a sign of a lack of integrity. Parents seem to lose the hearts and trust of their kids through such acts. It is obviously a natural tendency especially in this part of the world for men to be persuasive and dominative in the family.
The process of trying to control all that your child does might be easy when the child is in preschool, but it becomes a different ball-game when the child proceeds to higher learning. Being a control freak can never give room for a healthy relationship in the family.
Control instigates either insurgency or concession, so men especially married ones should try to reduce the act of being a control freak and work toward considering the impact of their behaviors on others.
The act of exhibiting mediocrity is a sign of a lack of integrity. This character shows when people’s poor judgment and lack of sanity embarks in actions and decisions that are incapable of being rectified to both themselves and their families.
Some married men are not mentally tough enough to uphold themselves to a higher moral standard. It’s obvious that there are no moral shortcuts in the game of life. However, men should be unbiased and embrace compassion and fairness while playing a leadership role in the family. Lack of wisdom inflates a lot of negative vices in decision making which might lead to family break-ups. Wisdom is a major tool that can help grow integrity as a man and ensure sound judgment, especially in difficult times.
Not keeping your word
This sign is really self-explanatory. When as a married man, you don’t keep promises you have made to either your wife, children or even outsiders, it is really a show of lack of integrity.
The context above has to do with trust. Instead of blurting out promises you cannot keep, it’s better to say nothing and probably surprise the person later on.
Men are the first role model to their kids and should be aware that integrity entails trust, making sacrifices and keeping promises. The acts of “Do as I say, not as I do”, and not keeping to one’s word will definitely make people, especially your family, to lose confidence in you which is not healthy for the family and society at large. It can also lead to family breakup if not well addressed.
The environment around us has developed to a ‘me’ culture that promotes self-interest above other good virtues. Most married men have this habit of thinking about themselves especially in decision making.
As a married man exhibiting the act of being concerned exclusively for one’s own advantage and interest regardless of others is simply a sign of lack of integrity. It’s advisable as a married to show some level of discretion in both behaviors and in decision making.
Acting shallow and thinking only about issues only as it affects you even to the detriment of others is simply “lame” and not a show of integrity. Most married men show this kind of mindset which ends up hurting others or even taking decisions in which the will regret in the long-run.
Honestly, when it comes to issues of lack of integrity, no one is exempted. Lack of integrity is an issue that has eaten deep into the fabric of human existence. It’s no doubt that when it comes to hypocrisy, men who develop strong personal integrity survive longer and make a deeper positive impact in their various families than those who don’t.
It might be rather harsh to say that “all married men” lack integrity. But, I would rather say that integrity comes with being honest, showing a steady and uncompromising adherence to firm moral and ethical principles and values. And so, any married man that exhibits the signs above among others, should definitely work on himself.
Feel free to share your opinions in the comments section below.