Ah. Egbon Jimoh, Ọ gini? What is wrong, this one your face is looking like our 100 naira notes these days? Always old and squeezing.
Okoro, one policeman just annoyed me this evening ni o. Seizing my car key for nothing, just because I parked to carry passenger. Imagine! Somebody talk say he don drink kaikai.
Wait. So you left your car there and came here?
No oh, see this man. Are you not a Nigerian again? I shouted at him small and begged him after a while. Na Awolowo he collect from my hand before he give me my keys.
Hian! So because you parted ways with your ancestor that’s why you’re already looking like his reincarnation? Biko there are more pressing matters of national interest right now.
Matters like what?
Look at this headline. Your brother, the VP, dey tell oyibo people that he is having sleepless nights because of extreme poverty in the country. We are the ones that are hungry; he is the one that can’t sleep. Inukwa?
That is the sign of a good leader, is it not so? The suffering of your people should be of great concern to you. Maybe he is tryi–
Is it only by staying awake in the night? Have he and his boss appointed ministers yet? Mba. What did they do instead? They announced that they will announce the appointed ministers on an unspecified day in July. Sleepless night never start. Even my brother Peter Obi has advised them to appoint ministers as soon as possible. Instead all we’re hearing are rumours. Bindow this, Ambode that.
Oluwa. Speaking about Obi, Atiku must be having his own dose of sleepless nights now. I heard tribunal judgement have been suspended due to lack of evidence that servers were used to transmit election results. Even Jega recently said the use of servers is illegal.
Yet Atiku insists he has evidence that result were transmitted electronically. And news from INEC suggests that servers were used to experiment but not in elections. Na Naija political action film for you. Is that not how Bauchi state House of Assembly now has two Speakers? One APC, one PDP. All these lawmakers that don’t even know how to obey laws. From climbing gate to doing Jackie Chan and disappearing the mace. Now it is two Speakers. Chineke.
Mazi ehnn, the kind of things wey we dey hear for this country na tragicomedy. E go dey do you laugh and cry, laugh and cry. Shebi they arrested one fake doctor and he talk say he don perform plenty successful surgeries on top people, imagine.
Egbon even my brother pikin wey just enter NYSC camp sef I no trust am.
Why? What did he do?
He studied medicine in school but as him mates dey plan to enter Canada he no wan go. You sure say he qualify? Maybe na Fishery he spend eight years dey study. Is that not how 43% of Law students failed their resit exams? That’s how we’ll just have Charge and Bail lawyers everywhere with dusty coats and shoes that have chop finish.
Haha. Maybe he is just a loyal citizen that loves the country. If all the doctors are leaving the country, is that not why fake ones are taking their jobs? Leave him alone jàre, we are proud of him.
Proud. How did you see our Super Falcons vs France match? Did they make you proud?
Ah. That match was a mess o. Even the referee seemed to hate our girls. Good thing we still made it to the round of 16. It’s a miracle.
And why is the Super Eagles coach saying they no longer have stars on the team? Mikel and Iwobi are what? And what have we been doing with stars before? I hope it’s not an excuse to not deliver at the AFCON? This one he’s saying they’re not 100% ready to face Burundi.
All those ones that have belleful, to run is harding them. We need hungry boys on the team. Hunger is a great motivator. – Egbon Jimoh Oluwole, 2019. I will be in history books of quotable quotes! I too will wave my immunity like my able governor, Seyi Makinde. Hehe.
See you oh. How will hungry people run on the field? You want your VP to start having that sleep-walking-talking sickness okwaya? Is he not suffering enough, sleepless nights, grey hairs, and all? What will we tell the next generation, eh? Ehen, did you hear? Our children will finally start learning about Biafra in schools.
Biafra ke. You too have started supporting that your scoin scoin brother abi? Errr…Namdi Kanu.
Nnamdi? Mba o. I was only talking about the recent approval by FG to start teaching History in schools again. After how many years since Babangida stopped it.
Oh. That one is good. My children will find out why Awo and Abiola are great men. But Obasanjo is not resting at all ọ, making demands left, right, and center. He is giving Buhari a tough time. Appointment this, June 12 that.
You mean just the way Gandollar…sorry, Ganduje is giving Emir Sanusi?
Those two sef, Ganduje likes to investigate everyone but himself. Yesterday it was Sanusi, today it is a Gorilla in the zoo that swallowed 6.8 million naira. They should just discuss and settle their differences over Fura da Nono or koko. Just the way I and my stomach need to settle our own, No be me spoil Nigeria. Mazi, let me come and be going. Okoroafor 1 of newspaper stand!
Egbon Jimoh, the Ooni of err… of anything you can think of. Na waka be this? Make e be like say we no see, hehe. Ka ọ dị ka anyị a furọ.
Na you know wetin you dey talk, wéré. We go see next time jàre.
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