I am not going to be guilt-tripped about walking away from someone after they have put me through emotional abuse. I am not going to feel bad about getting rid of them, just because they are family.
Any history we had together, is not going to tie me anymore. I will not regret leaving them, because they don’t have any remorse for the hurtful things they have done. My leaving is not temporary. This is not one of those things to get over after some time, it is not something we are going to talk about in the future.
If we weren’t related by blood, then they would have been removed from my life a long time ago. That’s the only reason I have even let them be in my life for this long. If not, I wouldn’t have endured the way they treated me or forgiven the horrible things they did to me.
If it wasn’t for family, I would have deleted them from social media sooner and would have avoided them every time we saw. I would have deleted them from existence, just like I have now done. It might seem like I’m being unnecessarily wicked, but I have stayed too long showing the kindest side of me. The side that loves, cares and has tried for years to make things work.
Unfortunately, nothing is working or changing. I keep getting hurt no matter how many times I convince myself it might be different this time. I have finally given up hope of us ever getting along and now, I am happy. They might hate me for it, but I have to do what is best for myself. Being around them was bringing out the bad sides of me that scared me sometimes. I have truly found happiness now that I’m without them.
I used to hate when people said “nobody owes you shit,” until it applied to me. I don’t owe them anything, especially because the person I thought they were, died many years ago.
I don’t care that I will be judged for removing them from my world because they are family. I should be allowed to leave anything or anyone if they’re causing me so much pain. Even though I don’t hate them, I should be allowed to. And I hate the fact that because we are family, a part of me will always love them.