The excitement that comes with every new relationship is always visible. The question however is how to still feel the same excitement you felt at two weeks after ten years. If you are in a relationship with the goal of marriage, when is the right time?
Romance is a massive culture on its own as different people feel love differently. Scientists have even given ample time to the study of how relationships evolve over time. Are couples more likely to break up after 6 months or divorce after 10 years. The truth is that there is no one answer to these questions. So scientists tend to focus on the intricacies that couples grapple with everyday. When should a couple get married? Is there any reason to wait? Why not just go ahead if you think you have found the one? How much information about a partner is enough information to determine if they are right for you?
Thinking of relationship in terms of time can make things really difficult for couples. It makes sense however to consider these other ways to evaluate whether you’re both ready for marriage.
1. How Many Sides Of Your Partner Do You Know?
One problem that can detour a marriage that seems to be headed in the right direction is the introduction of unexpected new knowledge about a partner. Do you know, for example, how your partner thinks about and values money, or how he or she would approach being a parent? Learning more about your partner now could ward off some common sources of conflict later.
2. Consider Happiness: How Happy Will You Be?
Recent research suggests that expected future satisfaction translates to current relationship commitment; doing the necessary relationship work; and, ultimately, a lower risk of divorce. In other words, don’t discount your personal assessment of future happiness: It’s tied to underlying processes you’re doing now that will later affect relationship well-being.
3. Do You Think Things Will Change After Marriage?
Before you get married, consider how your relationship typically operates. Specifically, are you a low- or high-conflict couple? Countering the idea that marriage launches new experiences that introduce declines in satisfaction. It has been observed that levels of negativity are generally stable in couples over time, but that increases in disillusionment differentiate couples that stay together versus those that fall apart.
4. Think About If Living Together Before Marriage Will Break Or Strengthen The Relationship
It’s common for contemporary couples to live together before marriage, but their reasons for doing so appear to predict how happy their marriage will eventually be. When couples use cohabitation to test out a relationship, or when they cohabitate for practical reasons (e.g., finances), they tend to report less dedication to their relationships and less relationship confidence. And this leads to lower levels of happiness when they do get married. Couples that live together for other reasons like wanting to spend more time together — might be better poised to move towards marriage happily.
Finally, there is no one answer to all the challenges that couples face before deciding whether to marry. Every relationship is unique and comes with its own challenges. Couples must be ready to fight their own battles and seek for ways to better their relationships. In order to determine whether it’s the right time for marriage, couples must sit together and have a honest conversation about what they want for themselves.