The fact that modernization and globalization have a major impact on the Nigerian society can not be overemphasized. But despite this, Nigerians are still having major issues about talking about sex, sexuality and sexual problems.
Even at hospitals, public areas’ discussion and public display of affection (PDA) are difficult. Yet the Nigerian music, dance and other art forms’ display exude eroticism and sexuality. Even in our music, people listen to moans, whispers and the fiery sound of sexual content.
In some parts of the country, it is not uncommon for a man to stare at a woman’s bosoms or buttocks, openly, even to comment about her physique or sound their sexual intentions towards her. This behavior is not really a form of immorality or moral decadence.
This just means that these parts of the country are more open and comfortable about sex and sexuality.
The movement of sex education and online movements have paved the way for sexual liberation.
However, why are some Nigerians still shy to talk about sex?
Sex in Nigeria is mostly seen as a private and intimate affair. While it is to some. Talking about sex isn’t a taboo.
The people from these parts of the country that shy away from these conversations are mostly conservative or guided heavily by their religious beliefs.
Let’s move on to the idea of sexuality
Sexuality is defined as a person’s sexual preference. Most western countries have become more open and free with the idea of everyone’s sexuality. This is not quite the same in Africa, and specifically Nigeria.
I was in a gathering when a lady talked about her sexuality, not really referring to her preference of a sexual partner, but her being comfortable about who she is and the type of person she wants. However, after talking about that, I could hear a pin drop in the room. Everyone became shy and looked away like it was a big deal.
Many people hide and are ashamed about what/who they want in a sexual partner. Even in acts of sex, many Nigerians hide and don’t say what they want during sex. This leaves them unsatisfied, leading to issues arising in their relationships.
There are many reports of rough sex gone wrong online. Some people like rough sex: bitting, pulling, chocking and wiping. The Nigerian society has made it into a form of ‘domestic violence’.
Domestic violence: Violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner.
Moreover, there is absolutely nothing wrong in a person expressing the way they want to have sex. However, this should be done in a safe way. If you prefer ‘rough sex,’ its best to discuss with your partner before grabbing his/her hair during sex.
Be open and honest about what you want. Besides, your partner might want it as well. *wink
I was on a public bus one morning. You know, those types that pick up a gazillion passengers and stop at every single point. Yes, that.
Anyway, there was this man who was advertising a herbal medicine that could take care of infections or sexual related issues.
After the long explanations and talk about why one needs to treat an infection, no one bought the product.
This short bus story is not to encourage or discourage us in purchasing herbal medication but to show how people ignore the topic of sexual related problems.
No one in Nigeria wants to admit they are having sexual problems. Be it STI’s, vaginal problems, quick ejaculation and its related problems, the Nigerian people never want to admit to it.
People suffering from sexual problems are quick to blame their sexual partners or their village people (LOL!).
Hence, people who have sexual problems should be free and honest about their issues. Most people are shy because of the judgemental looks they get. They are shy because they feel they will be insulted or talked about when they walk out of the room. But even at that, its better to get yourself fixed than worry about what others might think about you.
Lastly, it pays to be open. It is okay to be open about your sexuality and sexual problems. Without talking about it, it can’t be fixed or enjoyed.