A huge part of sustaining a relationship has to do with expressing affection, this might be easier at the beginning stages but as time goes by, it can be a bit challenging coming up with new ideas on expressing affection, it could also be difficult if you are not sure on how to best express your affection. Thankfully, there is a way to up your romance game, simply by knowing your partner’s love language. Basically, knowing the way that your partner feels the most seen and cared for is a really effective way to communicate what’s in your heart.
What are the five love languages? The concept was first introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. After decades as a couples’ counsellor and being married for over 50 years, Dr. Chapman came to the realization that people basically fall into five distinct categories in terms of the way they both express and most effectively receive love: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and physical touch.
Knowledge of your partner’s love language helps you understand them better, give you a roadmap to their heart and strengthen your bond.
Below are some little ways you can remind your partner just how loved he or she is, based on their primary love language.
Quality time:
People who view this as their love language love want their partner to set aside time to be fully present with them, where they can connect and be close without any other distractions. That means no TV, no chores, no social media, just giving each other your undivided attention.
Ideas On Achieving This:
- Have breakfast together before work
- After work, set aside 10 minutes to catch up — no distractions
- Have a night out together
- Always maintain eye contact when you’re having a conversation
- Take a walk together, keep fit and have an in-depth conversation at the same time.
- Go to bed at the same time, if possible
- Play board games indoors.
Words Of Affirmation:
If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, what that means is the best way to show them your love is through communication. They need to hear I love you, they appreciate letters, texts, cute WhatsApp messages etc
Ideas On Achieving This:
- Thank them for something they’ve done for you
- Congratulate them for achieving a milestone in their career or achieving a personal goal.
- Leave an encouraging note when they have a big presentation at work
- When they have moments of self-doubt, remind them of how capable they are.
- Compliment their outfit, hair or something else about their appearance.
- Send them a WhatsApp message just to say you were thinking of them
Receiving Gifts:
This love language can be easily misunderstood. To a partner who appreciates this, It’s not about materialism or breaking the bank to give the most expensive gift, it’s about thoughtfulness and the effort behind the gift. The trick here is picking the right gift that shows you understand your partner’s needs and you made an effort to express love.
Ideas On Achieving This:
- Buy them tickets when their favourite speaker or musician is in town.
- Peruse their screenshots if you can, and buy a bag or outfit they save.
- After a trip, bring home a gift that made you think of them.
- A surprise night out for Shawarma and drinks is always a win.
- Have a note in your phone or diary of specific things they mention wanting or needing, even casually, so you have a list of gift ideas for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays or just because
Physical Touch:
If your partner’s love language is physical touch, it’ll be very easy to tell, because this is a type that shows it. They always want to be close and, to touch you whenever possible. They love hand holding, hugs and pats on the back.
Ideas On Achieving This:
- Cuddle while watching your favourite TV shows
- Always kiss your partner when he/she is heading out and when they return
- Give them a massage after a long day
- Treat them to a back rub
- Gently rest your hand on their lower back at an outing
- Touch toes while you’re lying in bed
- Hold hands on a walk
- shower together
Acts Of Service
Anything you do to lessen the burden of responsibility — cleaning the car, going grocery shopping, helping with the kids — will make this type of partner happy. It doesn’t mean you’re their servant, but rather, it means you’re there to lend a hand and have their back in a way that is thoughtful .
Ideas On Achieving This:
- Help clean their room
- Do their laundry
- Pick up their dry cleaning
- Help get the kids ready for school
- Pack their lunch for work
- If they need to bring a present to a party or event, help by picking it out or purchasing it for them
