One of the improvements seen in the world of science is the development of DNA testing technology as a tool for finding solutions to several issues relating to genetics. It has been very useful in determining the real father of a child. However, this has led to serious problems in homes and marriages. Some men have been found to have trust issues while the women as a result of infidelity have found themselves in big troubles after a DNA paternity test result is revealed.
It has been found out that 3 out of 10 Nigerian men have been made to father children that don’t belong to them. Adekunle, a young businessman in his early thirties is a victim. After lots of pressure from his parents to get married and give them a grandchild, he finally got married to a beautiful young lady. Things were rosy at first until a recurring illness of their 2-year old baby finally led to a DNA test that revealed the baby doesn’t belong to him. He had to relocate to Ghana, leaving behind the mother and child as well as blaming his parents for his woes. This is the fairest of stories of men who have been made to father another man’s sperm droplet.
According to research by an NGO, Nigeria ranks high in paternity fraud. The current statistic for this is said to put Nigeria as the second highest in the world with around 30% cases of paternity fraud in the population. In fact, only a few men who have made their wives have the DNA paternity test majorly as a result of trust issues or infidelity were involved in this research. DNA paternity test which is the most definitive way of confirming a child’s paternity is quite expensive (about N80,000- N150,000 in Nigeria). Hence, many men couldn’t afford it and when an issue of pregnancy by their partner is been put forward, all they could do is to claim it by force or by love.
The rampant cases of men been defrauded by their partner have made many to look to DNA testing for help before the matter becomes worse i.e. when the child is grown up. There have been cases where men only get to know in their old age.
Read also: Women Are The New Cheating Ambassadors
Some young men were asked if they would carry out a DNA test on their wives to know if they are the real father of their unborn/born child. This is what they had to say:
The fundamental hallmark of a child should be trust. To be candid, getting to a level in marriage in which the husband carries out a DNA test for the verification of ownership of an offspring has a lot to do with trust issues. In a genuine marriage based on trust and no sign of suspicion, the husband should ignore such a thing and move on with the progress of the family. On the other way round, if I notice some suspicious ways of my wife that have to do with cheating, I wouldn’t think twice about calling for a DNA test.Mr. Sanmi Goke.
It is a NO to DNA test for me. I’ll rather use my money to eat than have a DNA test done.Mr. Tunde.
I’ll surely have a DNA test done. Not on the issue of distrust but to avert future crisis.Arakunrin Ajos.
No, I’ll not do that. Children look like us (the parents).Xcoubar.
I’ll only do that if I notice my woman philandering and that must be when I catch her single-handedly in the act. If that is the case, I can make her go for the test. If it turns out bad, that’s the end of the relationship.Sir Lincoln.
As much as DNA testing has its benefits, it has ruined many relationships and destroyed many marriages. Most men couldn’t continue to live under the same roof with the woman found in a case of paternity fraud. Our society sees any woman in such activities as being capable of killing the husband, so most men cannot but send the woman packing or leave the house for the woman as the case may be.
Some ladies were therefore asked how they would feel/react if their partner/husband insists a DNA test is done before accepting a baby born for them. This is what they have to say:
My man has his money to waste. As long as I’m not double-dating, then it is allowed. He is free to do whatever he wishes to do concerning the DNA test.Princess Damilola.
My reaction would depend on what has happened before the DNA talk started. If I have been nothing but faithful to my husband, there is no probable cause to doubt my faithfulness, then I would really be angry. Of course, he would do the DNA still, but he is in for a fight.
We’ll not fight because he requested or did DNA, but we will fight because he accused me of infidelity. It will be brutal on the other hand, if I was caught in a compromising position, then I will readily accept DNA. I won’t even fight.Barrister Mrs. Bukky.
I’ll feel hurt because as my husband, he should trust me except at some point in time I acted otherwise.Happiness Fyneface.
I don’t think that is a good idea. Trust is a very important element in a relationship and we should always try to trust one another.Mrs. Abiola Shukurat.
Although some men don’t have trust issues, some women’s promiscuous lifestyle has made it a priority for men to have the test done which is 99.9% accurate.
It is not that married men aren’t promiscuous too but that can only be revealed in a woman who shows up with pregnancy. Women are always caught in the act in this way and they also decide who should be the father if their baby. The rate at which married men and women under marriage oath have sex partners is very high. In fact, a shady news article from 2012 claims that Nigeria women are the most unfaithful in the world with a reported survey allegedly carried out by Durex, the famous condom brand.
Women who have also found out that the child belongs to their husband have called the relationship quit as their husband couldn’t have trust in them. For the ladies too, it will be hard to live with such men as they see distrust as a serious threat to the relationship.
As suggested by most of the ladies interviewed here, 90% 0f women will end the relationship if the test is negative (if it showed to their husband/partner). This is a serious issue that needs to be tackled in our society.
What then is the DNA Paternity Test?
Although there are several uses of DNA testing, its prominent use is to determine whether an individual is the biological parent of another individual. It is important when the rights & duties of the father are issues and a child’s paternity is in doubt.
DNA testing is currently the most advanced and accurate technology to determine parentage. In a DNA paternity test, the result (called the probability of parentage) is 0% when the alleged parent is not biologically related to the child, and the probability of parentage is typically 99.9% when the alleged parent is biologically related to the child.
How is the DNA test carried out?
This DNA test could be a paternity/maternity test for a child or adult. It can also be prenatal paternity testing for an unborn child. In the first method, a buccal (cheek) cells found in the inside of a person’s cheek is collected by using a buccal or cheek swab. These samples of buccal cells are then sent to a laboratory for testing. Samples from the alleged father or mother and the child would be needed too.
In prenatal testing, it is possible to determine who the biological father of the fetus (unborn baby) is while the woman is still pregnant through procedures called chorionic villus sampling or amniocentesis where amniotic fluid is been retrieved by inserting a needle through the pregnant mother’s abdominal wall. This sample is used for the test even though this procedure may lead to miscarriage.
To avert miscarriage, a current advance in genetic testing has led to the ability to determine who the biological father is while the woman is still pregnant through a non-invasive method. There is a small amount of fetal DNA (cf DNA) present in the mother’s blood during pregnancy which allows for accurate fetal DNA paternity testing with no risk of miscarriage.
Why the need for DNA Testing?
The brutal effects of raising children not belonging to them have caused mental illnesses and have also led to the death of some men. There was a story of an old man who had a stroke after discovering the only boy he has raised to be his heir, born by his young wife actually belonged to his gateman. There was also a viral story of a Nigerian-American man who discovered his only son who was 34-years old then wasn’t his biological son. These and many more have made men who have trust issues or caught their wives cheating to resort to DNA testing as a way of a break-up.
Apart from a strong suspicion or clear indication that a female partner or wife has been unfaithful, paternity tests in Nigeria are also done for immigration purpose and health reasons. As long as paternity fraud is caused by women who cheat on their husbands, we’ll continue to have broken homes as a result of this improvement in technology.
Most men wouldn’t father a child that doesn’t belong to them, they would rather send the child to the biological father when revealed. However, men who married their wives because of love may not see a child as a hindrance to their relationship or marriage. Some men even love their children regardless and a paternity test won’t change that. As quoted by a wise man “the biological father isn’t always the same thing as a father, and what children really need is just ‘father’“. In this sense, love comes on top of everything but if I may ask, where is this love?
Do well to share your thoughts on this cogent topic. Thanks for taking the time to read this piece.