Many of us deal with bullies daily, and I am sure if I ask some of us to mention them off the top of their heads, they would be able to mention a couple of people. Some of us barely know who a bully is; that’s why we still entertain certain people in our lives. A bully is someone who makes you feel like dirt, someone who makes you feel less than you are.
A bully could be your boss, it could be that “over sabi” colleague, it could be that person that thinks they are funny, it could be those people that enable them by laughing. They could also be a friend, even a family member, or a lover.
To deal with bullies, it is ideal to be able to identify one; I realized that a lot of us could barely recognize the jerk in our lives. So we still have relations with these people, and that is toxic, we still call these individuals friends or family. In his book “The Asshole Survival Guide: How to Deal With People Who Treat You Like Dirt”, Robert Sutton, a Stanford business professor, wrote, “You have an asshole problem if you are dealing with somebody who leaves you feeling demeaned, de-energized, or disrespected,”
We have all become unpleasant at some point; everyone, when exposed to an unfair situation, becomes a jerk which is fine, but if it becomes a habit, that makes one a bully. I have dealt with so many bullies in this lifetime; it seems to be a norm in our generation. People seem to be shitty and unpleasant to other people, and that’s sad.
Researchers have proven that dealing with bullies don’t only threaten our mental and psychological well being; it can also affect our physical well being. Dealing with them triggers health issue like; anxiety, depression, sleep issues, high blood pressure, and so many other health issues.
Do you ever wonder what makes someone so bitter that they are just so rude…? Well, I do, but that isn’t the main aim of today’s post. Today I’d be sharing realistic tips, ways I best-handled bullies.
Tips On How To Deal With Bullies
Don’t Be Quick To Judge
If someone is not always a bully, we have to cut them some slack. We need to be understanding of people’s behaviours, put ourselves in their shoes. Basic knowledge of human psychology would make you understand why people behave the way they do; you would realize that people are the way they are because they are humans. If you stop taking things personally and stop judging people, the world would be a better place for you. It’s okay to let certain things slide.
Notwithstanding, I am not saying you should be a punching bag to these people or enable them by making excuses for them.
Get Out!
It is essential to know when to say “enough is enough”. Many of us are miserable because of these people, forgetting we have the power to remove these people from our lives. Learn to say, “I am done with this shit!”, our general well being is the most important thing. In some cases, it can’t be possible because we live or work with some of them.
p.s if this applies to your workplace, always have a plan before taking such drastic action.
Fight Back!
Some people would say fight back (it’s me, I am some people). Although fighting back a bully could be tricky, you need to pick a strategic way to fight back.
When I say fight back, I don’t necessarily mean being violent, aggressive or rude because you become them if you take that approach. I mean calmly having a conversation with these people and express how they make you feel when they do what they do.
Note: if you tend to see many people around you as a jerk, look inward. You might be the jerk.
