How expectations Ruin Relationships

We all go into relationships with expectations about how we want our partners to behave. Perhaps you must have heard the saying, “expectations are premeditated resentments.” These expectations have the potential of ruining our relationships. Every form of relationship comes with its own expectation. Have you noticed that when you expect people to do certain things, they never do? and you get hurt.

Expectations, such as surprises, vacations, understanding, etc. are normal in relationships, without always trying to explain or say anything. There’s expectation and then there’s the reality and they’re two different things. There is nothing wrong with having expectations. Where it becomes wrong is when our partner fails to do what we expect and we fail to communicate and tell them how we feel.

In relationships, sometimes people expect their partners to express how they feel in certain ways and if the other person doesn’t do those things, the partner assumes the other person doesn’t care. so it really doesn’t matter if the person cares or loves too much. As long as those things expected don’t happen, they believe that the person falls short and doesn’t care enough.

While it is okay to have standards of how you want to be treated in a relationship in order to avoid abuse and other negative tendencies, it is always better to go into relationships open minded because, everything can’t go your way all of the time. For instance, is there respect, honesty, love and so many other basic things. However, there are certain faulty expectations we have that affects us like expecting your partner to make you happy and think like you.

When you think like that, you’re setting yourself up for major disappointments and unnecessary pain. Like you, your partner is imperfect and can’t always get it right and pass all the “mental tests you give them. That’s what expectations can pass off as.”

We often forget that everyone is different and that includes your partner. They will have their own perspectives and look at life totally different from you. We should be flexible in our thoughts in such a way that when your partner does not do things the way you like; you look at the bigger picture.

Communication is very vital here because your partner is not a soothsayer that will just automatically know what’s in your mind. Besides, you grew up differently from your partner hence, you have different upbringing and experience meaning that your partner cannot think like you. This reason is why communication is relationships is emphasized by experts because what you think or feel is completely different from the truth.

The whole point here is that expectations will influence how you think and how you evaluate most things in the relationship. It is important to be open-minded and not stiff in your thinking and also be willing to communicate so that you can get all your facts right before making any decision. Allow people be free and happy being with you because people have different ways of doing things so the major thing here is that you  both understand yourselves.