A submissive wife fits into what I called “women are supposed to be seen, not heard.” Well, that was what I knew growing up, so do not fault me. However, over time I have learnt to unlearn such notion as the sky is big enough for all of us, men and women alike, to exist, be heard and be seen equally. Also, note that these women who are supposed to be seen not heard transcend to become wives; hence they are expected to become submissive wives to their husbands eventually.
Moving forward, most men have also become sold to the above notion and expect their wives to become automatically submissive to them. Bearing in mind that submission requires leadership, I have one question for the assuming men; are you sure you deserve a submissive wife? With the way the term has been flying around this piece, how can a woman be a submissive wife?
A Submissive Wife: How Can a Woman Be a Submissive Wife?
There are so many things that submission is, but we mostly hear of the things that it is not. Submission is not slavery. It is not worshipping. Submission is not in its essence, demeaning. It is also not supposed to be humiliating and exploitative.
At this point, it is tempting to use biblical signals, but far from that, submission is letting another take the lead.
Submission is not a transmission of independence or will.
I would prefer to see being submissive as creating room for negotiation and continuous search for common grounds and fulfilment of communal goals, in this case, between life partners.
So, now we know what submission is and how it works, permit me to remind you of an exertion made at the beginning that submission requires leadership to function.
For the men, especially Nigerian men seeking submissive wives, evaluating your leadership skills, do you think you deserve a submissive wife?
It is not uncommon to hear a lot of people assume that all it takes to make a good wife is a submissive woman. Only a few consider the possibility of the efforts of the submissive wife being nullified by a bad husband who leads poorly.
So, Do Submissive Women Make Better Wives?
Well, the answer to this is NO. Being submissive does not make any wife better than the other. Most often than not, what makes people good in peculiar situations ranges from personal decisions to compatibility of the partners.
Although being submissive in the right way creates room for lots of better situations, if it is to poor leadership or to a partner with an exploitative mindset, the fruits will be non-existent.
So, being the only person with the right mindset and attitude to submission in a relationship as a woman does not guarantee being a better wife.
Back to the question: Do You Think You Deserve A Submissive Wife?
This question is for the men amongst us who intend to get married someday to women or those already married. It is paramount to answer this question sincerely and be sure to get the right answer.
The kind of leadership that breeds submission is one laced with service to the common goal. This kind of leadership requires being knowledgeable, empathy, setting good examples, commitment, sincerity and being honest to the common goal with your thoughts, feelings and actions.
Let me know if you still think you deserve a submissive wife or are still stuck being a bad leader.