Friendship is one of the most beautiful gifts of being alive. It is a unique relationship because, unlike other relationships, the decision to be in any is yours.
You become friends with another because you want to be, and you both choose each other.
Some friendships develop with us as we grow, providing support and genuine love. But sadly, not all friendships stay the way we want them to. Like everything else in life, companies change over time.
It’s the truth, even though it may hurt to know that it won’t always be the same with the people you grew up around.
The boy or girl you once did everything together with will grow up to have more responsibilities; so will you.
It’s already happening. We’re losing friendships, making and keeping new ones, trying hard to keep up with the old ones; it’s happening.
It hurts to lose friendships you dedicated years to, the ones you thought would last forever. We grew up, and life showed us something different from what we thought it’d be.
Many stay friends till the adult phase kicks in, and they find themselves swimming in the oceans of life, trying to survive.
As life rushes by, their priorities begin to shift, their responsibilities increases, communication shortens, and friendships are affected, for better or sadly for worse.
Adults friendship are nothing like childhood friendships. Nothing like what we all expected it to be when we were kids. Changes come, and we try our best to embrace them. We lose friendships because we wish everything could remain the same.
What if we tried to see life the way it is now instead of holding onto our childhood fantasies? These fantasies, though sweet, are primarily unrealistic and sometimes selfish.
Imagine not expecting your friends to make new friends. Is that even possible when we all meet and converse with new people every day?
When Friendships Change
Why do friendships change? What do you do when suddenly, the bond you’ve created with someone over the years changes? Do you often blame yourself? Or blame the other person?
The truth about friendships, especially adult friendships, is that things will changes, no matter how hard we try.
We can’t control what happens in friendships or when it will happen. However, we can control our reactions.
We need first to train our minds to stop looking for loopholes where there is none. For instance, “So you have forgotten me?” is not an excellent way to start a conversation with a friend you’ve missed for a long time. If another friend asked the same question, what would you say? Exactly! We are not kids anymore.
The sooner you understand that every day, life changes, and so do people, the better friendships and relationships you’ll make.
People don’t necessarily stop talking to you as often as they used because it’s a trend they want to follow. It doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you anymore. It simply means that they’ve grown with life. They understand things differently now. It’s left for you to catch up.
So the next time a friend calls you after a long time, embrace the moment, make it count; you never know when life will grant them such luxury again.
And if you ever lose connection completely with a dear friend, understand that it takes two to make a friendship. Please don’t hate yourself for it. Growth will continue to happen, and you will meet more people. Just make sure to do your part in making it work.
Maintaining friendships alongside other life’s hassle is hard, but everyone can have it a bit easier if understanding, love, respect and gratitude are present.