I’m Asari (Episode 63): One Girl One Ring
“I think it is fast but when you know you know” she said and I agree with her. The last guy she dated for years and when he proposed; she knew it wasn’t right. If Ashezi’s relationship is teaching me anything, it is that time is really not a determinant factor when it comes to relationships.
“I am very happy for her… I mean it is good news but I won’t lie, I am a bit jealous” Lota confessed, “don’t worry you are next” I replied as if I was a psychic “between you and I, you are most likely next” she said firmly and it made me wonder.
Derek and I have been together double the amount of time that Ashezi and her fiancée have been together, we already say ‘I love you’ to each other and things are really good. So what’s next?
“I have good news” I said to Derek on the phone “really… I like good news” “Ashezi is engaged” he was quiet for a few seconds before finally saying “congrats to her… that’s good” I thought he was going to say something about the time frame it took for her to get engaged but he didn’t.
He is like that, very respective and minds his business “do they have a date yet?” “In two months” I replied quickly expecting him to react again but he didn’t “it’s fast right?” I asked doing my best to pick his mind “not really… time doesn’t matter when it comes to things like this. It’s the people who matter” his words made me fall in love with him all over again but then it made me wonder.
If time doesn’t matter to him then what does? Things between us are near perfect and it’s not like one of us is a minor; we are both adults who are old enough for marriage and we are both financially stable… well sort of. If he isn’t waiting for time to ask me to marry him, then what is he waiting for? A question I can never get the answer to unless I asked him myself.
“Mummy Ashezi is engaged” “wow… that is good news. I didn’t know she was dating someone” my mum expressed her pleasant surprised. “Well, they didn’t date for long before getting engaged” I replied “that’s good… a man who knows what he wants. I don’t know why young people these days like to date for ten years before getting married. Better don’t let this Derek boy waste your time” my mother as expected turned it on me.
“Mummy how did this turn to me now? Not all relationships lead to marriage” I said casually but the look on my mother’s face felt like I had just poured hot flaming water on her. “What the hell do you mean by that? So you don’t want to get married?” “I want to get married” I replied quickly
“Then why are you dating someone who you aren’t sure will marry you?” her question hit me hard. I truly wasn’t sure Derek wanted to marry me, I know he loves me but now that I think of it; I have never heard him talking about marriage… not his parents’ or his friends’… marriage is not a topic that ever comes to his mouth.
“Better go and ask him what you are doing. Better to know now than later” my mother advised and for the first time in history; I was ready to take relationship advice from my mother. Marriage isn’t something I want to rush into but not knowing if the person you are dating actually wants to marry you has a certain type of stress that can make you an emotional wreck, if you let it stew long enough.