“So within one month you have developed feelings for three people. Tobe, Max and this Abdul guy?” Ashezi asked holding back laughter. We were in her house and had just finished watching the latest episode of power.
“Nope. I don’t have feelings for three people. I have something for two people and the third one is just angry with me”, I replied trying really hard to convince her or maybe I was convincing myself.
“Remind me why Abdul is angry with you again”.
“I don’t know. Isn’t that what I have been telling you since. He is just being immature”.
“Okay wait. Wait. You met Abdul, you guys fell in love …”
“Not love Ashezi. It was something but it was not love”.
“Okay, okay. Like. You guys fell in like but you don’t like him because he is not your type and he decided to free you, abi he freed you and now you think it’s because he is upset with you?
“Is there any other explanation?”
“Duh. How about? He freed you because he figured that you don’t want him and he doesn’t want to waste his time?”
“That’s not possible because they is no way he would have just figured that out from me refusing to go for lunch with him. That’s not possible”.
“Okay, what do you want now?”
“I want him to stop being upset with me”.
“And then what next?”
“Nothing”.
“You are not okay”.
I think Ashezi was right when she told me that I was not okay. I knew I wasn’t. I self-diagnosed that there is no way a normal human being would have thought and acted as I did. Do you want to know why I agree that I am not okay? I’ll tell you.
After my conversation with Tobe the other night in front of my house, he asked me to have lunch with him the next day so that we could talk about ‘us’. I agreed and went to lunch, except I didn’t go to lunch with him; I went with myself.
We were supposed to eat in a small café named Token. I remember vividly how he bugged me that morning not to forget our lunch date and I made him promise not to stand me up but that was exactly what he did. Without a phone call or a message, he left me there sitting by myself like a punk head. I even called him but he did not take my calls.
See, Tobe is the kind of guy that can reduce your self-esteem. He will treat you like crab, disrespect you and give you a sob story of how he likes you so much that he got scared or that his past relationship messed him up so much that he doesn’t know how to behave in a relationship anymore. So I am done, I don’t care what he says this time, I am absolutely done.
Anyway, after the embarrassment that was supposed to be my lunch date; I went back to work and Abdul was in my office, right there in my office all by his lonesome.
As I entered, I subconsciously waved at him. He waved back, obviously because I waved. I sat on my desk and went back to work; actually I pretended to be working. I couldn’t do anything reasonable; my heart was racing a thousand times a minute. I wanted to stand up and leave but I was scared that I would fall down because of how shaky I was. So I sat down there playing solitaire and doing everything in my power not to look up but it was killing me. I really wanted to know what he was telling my boss and if he mentioned me or something.
Read also: I’m Asari (Episode 5) The Story of Three
After what seemed like ten years I heard foot-steps coming my way; you guessed it. It was him. I thought he was going to just walk past me like in the restaurant
“Are you doing anything on Saturday?” I found myself using incoherent words because I didn’t see that question coming.
“Sorry for my directness, I just had to ask because if I don’t ask now; I’ll never ask again… So are you free on Saturday evening?”
“Yes,” I replied still wondering what was going on.
“Eight o’clock at Metro Café?”
I nodded and before I could say any other thing he disappeared. It was like planning a date with Batman. As in like, what just happened? See the person that I thought was upset with me. Me and my assumptions, I shake my head for myself.
The long-awaited Saturday arrived and I was partially looking forward to it. I could still hear Ashezi’s voice say to me “Don’t do it, just leave that guy alone. You said that he is not your type”. I thought about what she said and I thought about what I felt.
I know Abdul is not my type but I really wanted to know why I felt this way around him. Why did he have so much power and confidence? Just look at the way he even asked me out on a date ‘are you free on Saturday?’ what the hell was that? He wasn’t even afraid of rejection; I rejected him the last time. What made him feel that I wasn’t going to reject him again? I needed to know what this connection between us was.
When I got there, he was already seated but he stood up when I entered and helped me with my seat.
“I hope you don’t mind. I already ordered a bottle of wine for us” he said waving at the waiter to come with the menus.
“No I don’t mind, I love wine”.
“Me too” he replied and we smiled at each other.
We talked for over an hour and it felt like two minutes. “How?” I asked myself
I won’t lie, his tribal marks kept tormenting me throughout the night; I tried to ignore them but I couldn’t. There was nothing subtle about them; there were deep inside his skin from his cheekbone almost touching his lips; at least six of them. What mother will carry a son for 9 months and decide to give him such ridiculous marks on his face. Doesn’t she want him to get married? What kind of wickedness was this?
As the night went by, I knew that I couldn’t lie to myself. No matter how much I liked this guy, I will never be attracted to him. Can I be with someone who I am not attracted to? Absolutely no. So I leaned in to tell him the truth, to tell him that this was not going to work for me.
“Abdul, I have to tell you something” I gulped the remaining wine in my glass but before I could say a word Max walked in.
Of all days, he chose that place and of all times he chose that time. Before I could hide or do anything, Max saw me. In short, our eyes met and like a magnet, I stood up from my seat and walked to him like a zombie.
“I can explain” were the first words out of my mouth.
He looked at me with calm fury and walked out, I followed. Before you judge me. Sitting at the table with Abdul made me realize that I like what I like which is a tall handsome man with no tribal marks and that person is Max. I was not ready to lose Max, we had just recovered from our fight the other night and this one was going to be tough to get out of.
“What the hell are you doing? Correct me if I am wrong but isn’t that your so-called customer’s son?” he blurted as we got outside.
I begged him and told him that my boss forced me to go out with Abdul so that he could talk to his father to bring more business to the bank. I even went on to tell him how he was the one I wanted to be with and no one else but he did not believe me. The next words out of his mouth were shocking though
“Asari, if you really want to be with me then show it to me and leave with me now”, he was dead serious.
“Now?”
“I won’t ask twice”, he walked towards his car and I followed him.
He entered his car and I entered with him thinking that he would tell me that he was joking but he drove off. Yup, I blatantly left Abdul on that table. I even left my purse although I had only lipstick and my bank card inside. I know, I am ashamed of myself. Very ashamed.