Humanity

“Incomplete Till I Have A Son”- The Bacha Posh Children Of Afghanistan

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Mangal Karimy is one of seven daughters in western Afghanistan that is forced to live as a boy. Until the age of 2, Mangal was known as Madina.

The Afghan tradition is called ‘bacha posh‘ a term that translates to ‘dressed as a boy’. In Afghanistan’s patriarchal society, sons are highly valued. Some families are considered incomplete without a son.

Chief Editor of the Afghanistan Women News Agency Sodaba Ehrari says girls are brought up believing they are a burden to the family. She has interviewed many parents with bacha posh children. She talks about how women cannot earn money to support their families. They cannot even live alone and things like this lead to a patriarchal society with bacha posh.

The centuries-old tradition says a lot about the discrimination faced by the Afghan girls right from birth. However, the transformation is only temporary as the bacha posh children are expected to go back living as girls once they hit puberty.

A parent that was interviewed explains “Should a family have a bacha posh child and they have a son by birth. The son would be forced to live as a girl until the older bacha posh hits puberty.”

Mangals parents longed for a son. In the Dari language, there are no pronouns for ‘He’ or ‘She’. Mangal says to interviewers that he prefers being referred to by his male identity.

He is cherished by his family. He’s an extra pair of hands to the family of nine, earns extra cash of about 6,000 ($80) per month. Which is a meager even by Afghanistan’s standards.

Author of “The Pearl That Broke Its Shell,” a bacha posh novel by Nadia Hashimi, says that the bacha posh has practical roots. In the agricultural sector, it’s the boys who chop wood, plow the field and even travel independently. And when they marry, their wives and children are absorbed into the family.

For parents who didn’t have a son, the bacha posh worked around the obstacles that cut across socioeconomic lines. There is no data on the practice, but the majority of children interviewed by Hashimi for her book knew of a bacha posh child.

Accepted By All

Mangal’s father, Khoda, says neighbors have been open and accepting of Mangal, who is the only bacha posh child in the village.

“Even when people realize a child is, in fact, a girl dressed as a boy, they kind of go along with it,” explains Hashimi. “There’s this understanding that the family is using this loophole to get around this void, to try and correct their family, and have a source of honor and pride.” She says.

Although Mangal is considered a boy, for now, he still attends a girls school, dressed as a boy with his sisters.

Every parent in the Afghan society has their own take on the bacha posh children. Some say they were trying to hide that they have a girl child/daughter. A son is a source of pride, whereas having a daughter is a source of shame.

Some parents said they desperately wanted their daughters to have some sort of achievement. In a society where the men have everything, bacha posh was the only way for their daughters to live in freedom.

The Painful Transition

The transition to living as a girl is a painful and cruel process for most of the bacha posh children. After getting a glimpse of the freedoms the males have.

One for the bacha posh children, Shazia, was nine years old when her parents decided to transition her for a short period of five years.

Shazia is the third of six sisters. Her two elder brothers were sent to live in Russia to avoid being drafted. And her father lost his leg in an accident. She went by the name Mirwais, was made to cut her hair, and wear boy clothes.

“There were so many advantages and disadvantages to being bacha posh,” says Shazia, today a 37-year-old mother of three daughters, working for a women’s NGO in the United States.

As “Mirwais” she could “fly kites, play soccer with neighborhood kids, ride my dad’s bicycle — all of which were not ordinary activities for a girl in Afghanistan,” Shazia said.

But she was also bullied by her sisters and cousin for wearing boys’ clothes and tasked with the most grueling chores. “During the harsh winter I would have to stand in a line and receive bread to feed my family,” Shazia says. “I was jealous of my sisters in the warm house.”

Stuck Between Two

Shazia says she felt highly insecure about her facial features, her clothes and stature compared to other boys. The lifestyle was forced upon her. And felt stuck between being a girl and a boy.

Governments Lack Of Intervention

Even though, the Afghan government made no comment concerning the bacha posh. The chief editor of the Afghan Women News Agency (AWNA), Sodaba Ehrari, says the government has not spoken out against this because its a tradition that constitutes a belief. The practice is believed to come from the Afghan culture and is a custom that cannot be changed.

Meanwhile, Mangal continues to live as a boy. Helping his father with the daily chores, shoveling soil.

The Women for Afghan Women advocacy group helps at least 2 cases of bacha posh cases across the country. The girls are usually unstable mentally. Mostly between the age of 14 and 18.
The girls are friends with boys and have more freedom. Most of them end up being abused. They are made to dance, drink and sometimes take part in sexual activities.

Such girls might end up in rehabilitation centers, a special prison for children under 18. However, with the help of mediators and mental health services they could be re-integrated into the families.

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  • Wow I had no idea such a tradition existed.. and although it reeks of patriarchy we all know most traditions immersed in religion have the same flare.but with the pace at which globalization is encroaching into such systems in time, patriarchy might just become a thing of the past and give way to a more enlightened globe or give birth to a new breed of monster. Change isn't always positive as I've come to learn still won't stop our craving for it.