Asari

I’m Asari (Episode 41): The Four Points of Drunkenness

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It’s Lagos baby! We arrived three days ago and contrary to my fears everything has been fun as hell. We are staying at a small but nice hotel in VI, it is close to Four Points hotel; so it’s easy to lie to people and say that we stayed in Four Points hotel but I’m not going to do that… just saying.

From the day we arrived, we have been having one activity or the other; Ashezi met a guy on the plane who offered to drop us at our hotel and also invited us to dinner at the Hard Rock Café, not without buying us four bottles of wine. Expensive awesome wine.

The next day, he invited to a fashion show; oh my god! The excitement in my soul was more than a burst of flames. At first I wasn’t happy about Ashezi bringing a guy on board our girl’s trip but as the hours went by I slowly realized how fun it was to have KC around.

“What are you guys doing here? You only came to chill?” KC was building the habit of asking me all the questions instead of Ashezi, the person he met on the plane.

“Yup. Just chill” I didn’t want to tell him about Lota’s break up because it was not his business.

“At this point, I may end up marrying your brother” Lota yelled into my ears. We were at an exclusive club inside the Four Points hotel thanks to KC.  I looked at Lota, smiled and continued my conversation with KC “did you hear what I said?” Lota screamed into my ear again; she was drunk and a drunken Lota was something else.

“What did you give her to drink?” I asked Ashezi “I didn’t give her anything” she replied gulping the shot of vodka in front of her “I have been trying to make her stick to wine but I am tired of monitoring her. I also want to drink and have fun” Ashezi had given up on her baby sitting duty.

“It’s your turn to watch her today now” we took turns watching and making sure Lota didn’t get drunk every time we went out and now that Ashezi left Lota to do whatever she wanted; I could step into that position to make sure Lota didn’t go overboard, there was only one problem with doing that. I was drunk as hell

I put the glass of Hennessey in my hand down and ordered a bottle of water to drink and sober up a bit; by this time Lota was on the dance floor dancing with KC. I felt more relaxed and decided to finish my glass of whiskey since KC was someone that we “trusted”.

“Follow me to go and ease myself” Ashezi could barely stand still, I gave her a glass of water which she gulped it then pulled me out of my seat. We met an old acquaintance of ours by the door, who added to our problems by offering us two rounds of unrefusable tequila shots. We gulped the shots and were on our way to the restroom.

When I say on our way, I mean we were on our way to not finding the restroom. Four points is a very big hotel with different sections; so imagine two drunk girls trying to find the restroom in such an environment. Now that I am writing this, I realized that we could have used the restroom in the club but we never thought of it.

I think we walked around the hotel for thirty minutes minimum looking for the restroom, then we got distracted by a huge piano that we tried to play and was chased away from. “Common sir, it’s four points… we are guests here” Ashezi announced to the concierge politely telling us off.

He asked for our room key and I showed our room key; the room key of the hotel we were actually staying in. “How dare you question our integrity?” I yelled but by this time security was already escorting us out of the hotel.

“Common sir, it’s four points hotel. Four points!!!” Ashezi screamed as she donated a slap to one of the security men escorting us out; the slap propelled them to lift her up and drag her out of the hotel. By this time I was starting to sober up and observe the commotion we were causing but all I could do was beg Ashezi to calm down and do as we were told.

“Na wa o. which kind of problem is this?” I murmured, we were outside and I was about to dial Lota to tell her what had just happened but Ashezi stopped me.

“Come, I have a way to get us back in” she said bringing our two bottles of small whiskey from her bag and giving me one; in my lack of good thinking, I gulped the entire bottle and that was the last thing I remembered.

The next morning we woke up on the roof of four points hotel; yes… you heard me right… Ashezi and I woke up on top of the roof of four points hotel without the slightest idea of how we got there.