Hello beautiful people! Welcome back to MindTalks with Imma on EveryeveryNG. T. T. T. GIF… Thank God it is Friday!
Today is 25th June 2021. And on today’s episode, we’re going to be celebrating our fathers. On Sunday, that is 20th June; we had a world explosive Father’s Day. And I think this is the biggest I’ve ever experienced it because there were no banter and no trolls. I read tweets where some guys were saying ‘oh, so men are not scum, and you people have excellent fathers like this, but when there’s an outburst or someone bitter makes an up story, then it’s as if all the men in the world are deadbeat humans.’
It was touching because I got to read so many people’s explanation of what fatherhood is to them, and so many people shared their childhood memories. Bloggers put posts up asking about favorite childhood memories with one’s father that doesn’t involve money. We have this very strong notion that everything that involves fathers is money-related. But then they were so many beautiful experiences shared, and it was so touching.
For someone like me who lost her dad at a young age, my father died when I was in primary four, so I don’t have so many childhood experiences. However, the few I recall, I cherish them so much and hope to never forget them. I know that my father never flogged me, unlike my siblings that have a different opinion on this. It was as if I was born and my father completely retired from beating. But my mum made up for that!
So Happy Father’s Day to you if you’re a father already or if you’re a father in waiting. Ndi Nna Papa!!
I also saw women who celebrated themselves for being fathers to their children. I don’t buy the idea because I don’t see men celebrating themselves on Mother’s Day. We have excellent single dads that are playing the role ideally without dragging their baby mamas into it.
So earlier, I mentioned that we always associate our fathers with money. Still then, some men remain present for their families; and they always have this comportment amidst worry because growing up, we have this mentality that because our mothers are more expressive with their emotions that they are the ones that love us more. We forget that in those days, men are taught to find the courage and not be expressionless.
A writer on Twitter wrote of how terrible his relationship with his father is, and how they later reconnected. He learnt something that his father was trying to give him a better life. He may have done it cruelly, but his intentions were pure. One thing I’ve learnt is that whatever your family do for you, especially your parents, they do it be they love you.
I was talking with my friend, and he was telling me how his father didn’t care whether you want to become a footballer or a singer that once you’re of age and you’re filing your jamb form, they will tell you the course to study because it’s lucrative. There was nothing like passion. It’s all about being able to provide. It’s even worse when they feel your passion is not tangible enough.
Why am I telling this story? Why am I saying this? I’m saying it for you listening to me. You might not have a cordial relationship with your father because both of you are always in disagreement.
Our fathers have this mentality to firmly setup their children to be independent. To the point that even as they are not there, you can be able to thrive in any environment. My father would always say, ‘nwuo kita inoruru onwe gi’ meaning ‘if I die now you will have to be on your own’. That is the mentality that pushes them to raise you to be able to stand for yourself.
Yes, my darling, please forgive your father.
I made a couple of observations from the posts on Father’s Day that I’d like to talk about.
Another lady wrote about how she was confused about how to feel about her father. Her father loves her so much, but he consistently hit her mother. So she wonders how to feel about him. Then we have to realize that being a good man; a good husband; and a good father are three different qualities. The girl in question was made to understand that her father is a good father but a cruel man and a bad husband.
Before I conclude, let me tell you a funny story. I was discussing with one of my superiors, and we got talking about his family. He was proud to say he wasn’t active in parenting, that his wife did all the parenting, and they will only call him if they needed money. Well, I did my bit in convincing him on how important it is to be present in his children’s lives.
So that is that about our Father’s Day Appreciation episode. Shout to all the fathers who are showing up for their children. Fathers that are “manning up” positively and showing emotions.
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Remember in the world where you can be anything. Please be kind.