Balance; everybody wants it, but not many can actually achieve it.
If you haven’t read the first part of this post where I talk about priorities go do that. Here I focus on two more very important aspects of creating balance in life.
Often times couples forget they are individuals outside of the couple/family dynamic. Remember when you were your own person BEFORE you had a spouse and kids? Go back to some of those same mentalities. Maybe there is a hobby or interest you have been wanting to explore but have not felt you have had the time. Maybe there is a new movie out that you want to go and see.
The idea of doing anything on your own may seem daunting. “There is just no time!” “But the kids!” “I can’t imagine!” “What would people think!” are all things which may even cross your mind when reading this and that is OK! Just remember, you are an important part of the relationship and/or family dynamic and you need to take time for yourself. If you prioritize everything and everyone else above yourself, you cannot possibly be the best version of yourself in the various roles you hold.
In a world where everything is readily available at our fingertips, it is difficult not to compare your lives to others. Social media, while wonderful in so many ways, can also pose as a potential stressor to the relationship and upset the balance. You may find that you start to question your relationship status, your family dynamics, and even your happiness after a brief scroll through Facebook. This may even begin to cause tension in the relationship as one partner may begin to put pressure on the other and you may start trying to achieve and acquire things you believe you should have vs. what is actually applicable for your lives.
You should know now that the pictures do not show that behind the sunshine and smiles are the tantrums on the plane, the sunburn, and the fatigue and stress from travel. People only post what they want others to see. Much of what is shared on social media sites is just a sliver of the person’s reality. Once you stop comparing your life to others and stop basing your happiness on what you think happiness looks like through social media, you will start to feel as though a weight has been lifted.
There will never be enough time to do everything. Your to-do list will most likely continue to grow and you may not get everything done within a time frame you had hoped for. You may neglect certain responsibilities or even people in your lives. And you know what? It’s OK! Balance means finding the middle ground, not swaying too much one way or the other. If you and your spouse are concerned about your ability to implement change and find the balance, consider couples counseling as a way to start working towards this goal.