Congratulations on getting to a point in your relationship where you are considering moving in together. Exciting times, right? What could be more fun than waking up beside your love? Congratulations again! But before you make this major move, there are necessary conversations to have. Irrespective of how much you love your partner or how many similarities you both have, having a conversation before moving will help the process move smoother:
This might be an awkward topic to explore but it’s very necessary. It’s important to talk about money no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Before the lease is signed, figure out who will be paying for what (rent? Nepa bills? Groceries? etc) and how.
Not only will this make a smoother transition when the first rent check is due or other bills come up, but it can give you ample time to protect your assets in case things get messy. There is no hard written rule on how to share or split finances, and every couple has a method that works best for them. Figure out what works before it becomes an issue, and hopefully it never will.
Living together might be great but you do need your Me time. Whether it’s a weekly boys night, or a designated time where you get the apartment to yourself, discussing the value of alone time before you move in can prevent disaccord—and hurt feelings—down the line when you have to explain why, no, they can’t come to your Saturday evening girls hangout or why you just need to chill in silence sometimes.
Seemingly little things—like washing the plates–can be absurdly stressful when not agreed on, so break up chores before you move in together. Instead of a 50/50 split on chores which is a method that rarely works. It’s best to talk about what chores you don’t mind, and what you can’t stand. If one of you dislikes doing the laundry, offer to take that on in exchange for doing the dishes.
There will be arguments, some arguments, however, can be avoided completely with a little forewarning. If you have some form of OCD , let your future live-in know before they move in.
If one of you loves to wake up and blast music by 6:00am and the other loves to sleep till 7:30am, you’re going to run into more than one issue. Work these out beforehand—maybe make them wear headphones instead.